TV Review Catch-Up: Big Brother 14: Breaking Down the Final 5

ML- Frank was my Day 1 pick to win it all, a belief I strayed from only while Janelle reared her blonde head in the house. My last post was made after Janie's eviction, at which point I re-alligned with Frank and gave him my blessing to the end.

His elimination has inspired me to return to blogging and re-assess the game, which has changed drastically since the Final 12. I had the great fortune to attend the live Double Eviction and send my pick off in person (I'm the blonde in the light blue on the left of the above picture). I backed him throughout the season, through every nomination, every HoH, and now he's off to sequester with only Ted and some bad feelings.

I can't talk about the taping, but I did get to have a moment with Frank when I yelled "Preesh" (his favorite phrase) and he looked back and acknowledged me. I also got to see Joe walk out the door, and I tried my best to keep from rolling my eyes during his exit interview. Maybe you'll catch one if you look close enough!

So we're down to 5:

From Team Britney: Shane
From Team Dan: Coach Dan & Danielle
From Team Boogie: Ian & Jenn
Nobody from Team Janelle :(

It's amazing to see Dan's comeback thus far. They nearly got both him and Danielle out of the house Week 2. Now, he is living large and playing a big, bold, badass game that is going to leave many jurors bitter. His funeral was undoubtedly one of the game's greatest moments, and cemented his legacy as one of the BB legends. But who could Dan face-off with in the Final 2 and beat?

Definitely NOT Ian. Ian is loved by America and many of the jurors. He would eat Dan alive, but apparently he intends to go to the end with "the best", meaning Dan. And let's face it, any of the other three winning would be a massive disappointment to this season.

Shane has played a universally unremarkable endgame. Could that be a strategy? Doesn't make much sense when every HoH/PoV is crucial to you surviving the week. He is undoubtedly a nice guy, and his competition wins could gain him some swing votes if he makes the Final 2.

Danielle has played a good social game, and both she and Shane have been very loyal. Many criticize Danielle for being a pathological liar, which can only help you in the BB house! Upon his exit, Boogie predicted she would win, noting the amount of friends she may have on the jury. If Dan goes up against her in the Final 2, I'm not sure where the votes would go.

And then there's Jenn. Jenn City. I love how Jenn tries really hard in her confessionals to deceive us into thinking she's a legitimate player in this game. Her one move, winning the PoV and saving Dan, was a triumph for Dan, not Jenn. She's not necessarily unlikable, but has no business being victorious for anything she's done this summer.

While I think Ian will win this game, I really hope it's Dan. Sure, he's already won before and had a few weeks of safety. He, like Frank, has had to PLAY every week. He may not have shown it by strategizing with everyone, but the gears were always turning. I respect that game more than Ian's of being likable and cute and winning challenges. Ian winning would definitely make me happy, but Dan winning would make this whole season that much more of a success.

Let's look at possible F2 scenarios, shall we?

Dan/Ian: Ian would win (Frank, Ashley, Joe, Britney, maybe Shane)
Dan/Danielle: Close, my money is on Danielle (Shane, Frank and Ashley's votes locked up, maybe Brit)
Dan/Shane: Shane? (Danielle, Britney, Joe, Frank, Ashley are all likely.)
Dan/Jenn: Dan (Maybe Frank/Ash voting for Jenn, everyone in their right mind votes Dan)
Ian/Danielle: Probably Ian (Frank/Ash/Britney/Joe)
Ian/Shane: Probably Ian (Frank/Ash/Britney/Dan)
Ian/Jenn: Ian
Danielle/Shane: Maybe Danielle (Dan/Ian/Jenn), probably Shane (Frank/Ash/Joe/Britney)
Danielle/Jenn: Danielle
Shane/Jenn: Shane

So in terms of Most Likely to win, I see it as:
Ian wins 4/4 Final 2s
Shane wins 3/4
Danielle wins 2/4
Dan wins 1/4
Jenn wins 0/4

Things could change, obviously, like Frank/Ash not necessarily voting together, or more people respecting gameplay rather than holding grudges.

Will these predictions stand up? Find out in the coming weeks! I'll try to keep up with the blog at least once a week.

My Pick to Win It All: Ian
Double Eviction #2 Grade: A
Season Grade So Far: A-
Original Episode Airdate: 09/06/2012

TV Review: Big Brother 14x13: What a Douchebag

ML- I have two apologies to make before I get started: One, this is extremely delayed, on account of having to travel to Los Angeles for the semester. Two, the Veto episode review was extremely emotionally-charged on account of being so angry at the move.

I truly feel as though I've gone through the 5 stages of grief with the Janelle elimination.

First was Denial: The reports were wrong. Janelle wasn't the target. She wouldn't go home over Frank.

Then Anger: aka the 14x12 review.

Bargaining: The "Save Janelle" campaign and all the pleading to Alison Grodner and the production to save her.

Depression: I was literally in a funk the night of the eviction.

Acceptance: Now, I'd say I've come to terms with it all.

All in all, Danielle made a bad move. She should have put personal feelings aside and formed a 6-person with Dan, Shane, Britney, Ian and Janelle. Frank and Boogie are too strong, too flaky and will not forget her and Dan's earlier betrayals.

Instead, she removed someone from the house who had no allies. Boogie totally took over her HoH, and I have to respect him and Frank for it.

The best part of the episode, which will surely be remembered for years to come, were Janelle's comments to Boogie's obnoxious goodbye message.

"He's such a loser!"

"What a douchebag."

"Screw you, Mike Boogie."

Janie put her backing behind Dan, because she loves him, but felt Boogie was too much of a threat to win it all. I'd put my backing behind both of them, as well as Dr. Will's pick Ian and my original pick (who I shouldn't have strayed from) Frank.

The next HoH competition, Battle of the Bands, was "knockouts"-style where two people would identify the challenge described in the lame original song.

The order of elimination was Jenn, Joe, Wil, Shane, Ashley, Dan, Boogie and Ian, leaving Britney and Frank for the final round. Frank beat Britney, further proving the point that Danielle made a dumb move.

How will Frank's HoH week go? Find out in the next blog, which should be up later tonight!

Pick to Win: Frank

Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Janelle Pierzina (Screw You, Mike Boogie)
Original Airdate: 08/09/12

TV Review: Big Brother 14x11: Bouncing Checks

ML- Boogie called it last week, as we were reminded at the end of the "Previously on Big Brother" segment- this is Big Brother, you can bounce checks. When the nominations were revealed, one person was upset his key wasn't pulled, and another was upset that his was. Pretty crazy result to one of the craziest twists in BB history.

The endurance challenge (which I live-updated in last Thursday's blog) was a doozy, as they contestants not only had to hold onto bars and stand on planks at an angle, but they had to do so with freezing cold water pouring down on them and seagull poop splattering on their faces.

Historically, women and smaller guys have faired better in this type of challenge, and that proved the same tonight. The order of dropping out went: Boogie (strategic to appear weak), Jenn (too cold for her Puerto Rican blood), Joe, Ashley, Dan (also to appear weak, which Wil didn't buy), Frank, Wil (who made a deal with Danielle for safety), Shane and Janelle. I was surprised Janie didn't hold out longer, but I guess the 8 years since her original season have taken their toll on her.

The last three standing were Britney, Danielle and Ian. Thanks to a coach session from Dan and Britney and Ian's willingness to jump for safety, Danielle outlasted the others, giving us our first female HoH of the summer. Not only did she get a hug from Dan, she also got a big kiss from Shane. Somebody is finally realizing how much it pays to be in a BB showmance.

The targets started popping up quickly, with Boogie, Frank and even Janelle's named being thrown around. Danielle thinks Janelle is threatened by her- I doubt that's true, I think Janelle just has a harder time pretending to like Danielle than the rest of the house (Britney included) who bashed her non-stop on the feeds a few weeks ago.

Boogie and Frank tried stirring things up after Dan, in the heat of the Reset button action, told them Frank was the target in order to gain some favor of Boogie's. This basically backfired, as Boogie didn't trust Dan for not telling him when it would have mattered. Though Britney and tried to deny it, Dan admits to them he messed up and told Boogie the plan.

Dan used his allegiance with Danielle to veer her off the path of nominating coaches and instead thought she should nominate Wil and Frank. She agreed, until Wil reminded her that she promised him he wouldn't go home this week.

So what was she to do? Stick with the plan and get Frank and Wil up? Or honor the deal and send Janelle or Boogie up instead? She bounced her check and nominated Wil as a pawn against Frank, who has narrowly escaped too many evictions this summer already. Can he do it again?

Boogie, meanwhile, was insulted that she didn't nominate him when she had the chance. Don't get too cocky, buddy, there's still a veto to be played for!

If you want to know the veto competition results, keep reading below! If not, go check out some of our other articles.

Episode Grade: B
Episode MVP: Danielle Murphree
Original Airdate: 8/5/2012





LIVE FEED SPOILERS
The Veto was the yankee swap one done in seasons past, where whoever places higher in a competition can open a box and either keep the prize or trade it for an opened prize.
The prizes went as follows:
Frank got stuck in a "Spirit-tard", a unitard with pom-poms. He hates wearing it and has been lax keeping it on. Could he get a penalty vote?
Wil got $5,000 cash
Jenn got a vacation, which Ian traded away
Ian got a punishment of being dressed like a dog for 24 hours. He has to sleep in a doghouse and have someone holding his leash if he ever goes anywhere.
Shane got a Veto pass, allowing him to play in a future veto
Danielle got the Veto this week

There has been much discussion of backdooring Janelle. Danielle hates her, Brit is sick of her, Boogie and Frank are all for it. However, Dan is still adamant about keeping the target off of the coaches, so as of right now, the veto probably won't be used and Frank will go home. The veto ceremony is tomorrow so things can still change by then!

TV Review: Big Brother 14x10: Tears of Ploy

ML- I didn't expect to be shocked by the decision tonight, but boy, am I surprised.

It all started off with Shane making either the biggest or the stupidest move of the game in nominating Frank. Britney said it was the only move that would keep Frank from winning the half-a-million bucks. It was smart of him, no doubt, and he was even smarter to play it as if he had no intention of eliminating Frank.

Boogie had a great line after Ian justified not committing to Britney- "This is Big Brother. You can bounce checks." Actually, all the coaches (minus Britney, who barely counted in the first place) had some good advice to future Big Brother contestants everywhere- don't let your emotions get in the way of your game.

Janelle was shown to be an amazing gamebot, never sad, never happy, always in game mode. She shed that to deal with the Wil situation- as she gave him some advice for the endurance competition, Wil took it as her condescending him. Basically, he came off as totally bitchy and ungrateful for her giving him safety this week. She should have traded him to Dan and been done with it.

Wil talked to Joe who talked to Ashley who talked to Janelle who talked to Wil about it, and cried some fake tears to get Wil to trust her again. He followed suit, calling her bluff but telling the camera he still didn't trust her. She's going to have to watch her back if she wants to make it by unscathed.

Dan, too, told his player Danielle to be cutthroat and leave all things Shane out of the picture. I don't think she's going to be able to do that, which makes it good for Dan that this twist came about when it did. I also have to applaud Dan for lying so low in the grass these past few weeks. There truly are some great, diversified players among the coaches.

The segment spent on Frank's daddy issues with who appeared to be Mickey Rourke's inspiration for The Ram in The Wrestler didn't offer much insight, but set the stage for a Celebrity Big Brother if they ever come calling. Imagine the fight between Sid Vicious and Russell Hantz? Ratings gold.

Finally, twist time. We all knew "America" would be inviting the coaches to enter the game, and obviously at least one of them would press the "Reset" button. But the rest of the ramifications came out like a ton of bricks. If nobody pressed reset, some sequestered houseguests would be given the opportunity to return to the game. If anybody did, there would be no vote, and Joe, Frank, Shane, all the coaches and the rest of the bunch could play in the endurance HoH.

America was in. Britney was in. Dan and Janie were in. It didn't matter that Boogie passed it up, he knew at least one of the others would subscribe. And just like that, Frank was spared another week.

Now we're left with 12 players in the beginning of Week 4, and I couldn't be more excited. All the coaches are in it to win it, as are Frank, Shane and Ian. Wil has potential, but after his diva-like antics tonight, he's not making any friends. Danielle is trying, but she can only pull a Jordan-like win, and she's nowhere near as likable as Jordan. Jenn is a non-entity.

Was this whole coach scenario an excuse to give some of the favorites a few weeks of safety before entering the house? Absolutely. Do I care? Not one bit. It turned the game way more strategic, and will make things even more complicated now that coaches and players are all in the same league. I can't wait to see how it all plays out!

Winner Prediction: Janelle (she's got a huge target, but if anyone can overcome it, it's my Jedi Janie)
Next Evicted Prediction: Mike Boogie

I'll update the Live Feed section for a little while longer tonight then post the endurance winner tomorrow. As of 11:30, only three people have dropped off. This could be a long night, folks.

Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Janelle Pierzina
Original Airdate: 08/02/2012


LIVE FEED SPOILERS



By 11:00 PM, Jenn, Boogie and Joe were all out of the competition. Everyone else is still hanging in there. I'll update until I fall asleep!
11:42PM Ashley falls out
11:44PM Dan gives up and leaps off
12:07AM Frank falls off after much struggling
12:36AM Shane and Wil jump off together. How cute.
12:40AM Janelle is out
1:08AM Ian drops, guaranteed safety from Danielle and Brit
1:09AM Britney drops, guaranteed safety from Danielle
HOH GOES TO DANIELLE

TV Review: Big Brother 14x09: Keep Calm and Kiss Ass

ML- Britney and Shane mocked Janelle's players and couldn't wait to kick one of them out of the house. By the end of the episode, it seems as though all of them will survive into next week. How'd they manage to pull that one off?

Much of their success can be attributed to Ian, whose inability to commit to saving Shane next week sent Britney into a frenzy and turned the target back onto Frank. But Janie and Joe did their own share of the work, the former offering her wedding ring and Chanel earrings as collateral, the latter making weird metaphors to rock climbers and the president.

Joe was not happy to be up basically only because he's Janelle's player, though his personality obviously didn't help his case. Janelle wouldn't let her people freak out, nor would she let them give Shane or Britney an ounce of breathing room during the week. Ass kissing, though embarrassing, is a good strategy in Big Brother. Wil claimed he doesn't want to be known as an ass kisser, and there is absolutely no joke to be made there. Joe tried his best, but obviously, gentle tones and smooth deliveries are not his strong suits.

The Veto was similar to one in BB13, except this time instead of Greek gods and goddesses, the contestants were dressed in clown suits. They had to run to keep two balls off the ground as they rolled  up slanted paths. Once you dropped a ball, you were out.

The competition went pretty quickly tonight, as Wil, Joe, Frank and Danielle fell out, leaving only Shane and Ashley. Shane defeated the klutzy Ashley to score his third straight veto, probably sending past all-time veto champs Janelle and James Rhine into panic mode. Is he the Michael Phelps of Vetoes?

It was then do or die time for Joe and Team Janelle, as they made as many offers as possible to get Boogie and his people out of the house. I've got to hand it to Janelle, she really does hustle to get her way in the house. Along with Ian's slip up, Shane and Brit decided to explain the backdoor to Frank in a way he might not expect to go home. It didn't work 100% as planned, but at least there wasn't a big blow-up- yet.

Britney likened Boogie and Frank to a dragon and its head- are we getting some more Survivor cross-over here with Coach? Is this all one big elaborate ploy to get Big Brother fans used to hearing "coach" and "dragon" so next season they can do a BB/Survivor mash-up? I'd truly dig that.

Tomorrow night we'll see if the coaches enter the game (they probably will) and who goes home, Frank or Joe (if they're smart it'll be Frank, but I can't stand listening to Joe's confessionals anymore). If Frank does go home, I'll be looking for a new Winner Pick. Leave me your suggestions in the comments below!

Episode Grade: B
Episode MVP: Janelle Pierzina & Shane Meaney
Original Airdate: 8/1/2012

TV Review: Big Brother 14x06: Big Three Fall Hard

ML- It doesn't take long to go from hero to zero in the BB house, as Team Britney became well aware of this week. After losing Willie Hantz to his own self-destructive ego, and the subsequent HoH win by surviving nominee Frank, Shane, JoJo and Britney were right to be shaking in their giant tortilla costumes. But, as we saw last week, you're not out in Big Brother until you walk out that front door- and even then, sometimes you move back in.

It was clear who Frank would target, but the producers did their best to add some mystery by showing Boogie's scheme of backdooring Shane rather than putting him up upfront. That wasn't a bad plan, but had he been chosen for Veto and won and saved JoJo, Frank would be getting even more blood on his hands than was necessary this week.

JoJo pleaded her case as a loyal player, basically saying she was willing to abandon all of her previous alliances and join him. Swearing on her grandmother's life wasn't enough to convince Frank, who indeed nominated the remaining Team Brit members Shane and JoJo for eviction.

Britney did her best to coach them in the right direction, but I absolutely would not want to be in her position right now. Picking some of the stronger players totally backfired on her way too fast, and Willie quitting (and the producers not ending Frank's HoH reign right there, as they did to Michele when Chima quit in BB11, I believe) has screwed Shane and JoJo over even more. Sure, they should reintegrate, decrease game talk and be friendly, but in the end, the other contestants are going to do what's best for their games, not keep who they like better.

Boogie made another great suggestion to Frank this week: nurture relationships with Shane and JoJo. One of them at least will definitely be playing for next HoH, so you want to do as much damage control as possible. I think Frank and Boogie make a good team and really hope Frank can keep straight talking' his way through the game.

Danielle wanted to be chosen for PoV really badly, so of course the BB gods denied her and instead Ian, Ashley and Wil joined the others for a date at the Big Brother Cantina. The competition involved digging through thick, margarita-themed liquid for menu items to match them to a main menu, all while wearing a giant tortilla chip costume. Once you placed all of your menus in what you thought was the correct order, ring your bell to lock in your time. Whoever had the most right in the fastest time won the PoV.

The challenge made for entertaining TV, as Wil and Frank took plenty of tumbles and Ashley proved she's either dumber than the fish in the fish tank or working a smart strategic plan of playing dumb. Based on her challenge strategy (creating meaningless mnemonics of menu item first letters) and list of qualities in a good man ("likes to eat food" stood out for me), I'd say its the former.

In the end, Shane narrowly beat Ian in a real nail-biter, and Britney hugged him in the big vat of guacamole. He and Frank quickly solidified an alliance of sorts, a smart move for the short term to keep the power players off of each other's backs. He then planned to save Danielle from certain nomination by proposing to backdoor Wil and weaken Janie's team. Frank was hesitant, afraid to open that can of worms just yet.

Dan basically released Danielle from his coaching, as he saw his affiliation a kiss of death for Jodi and Kara before her. This reminded me of Eric and Pam on True Blood, except Pam is way cooler than Danielle, who cries way too much. This is actually smart for Dan- the weaker she appears, the more time she will spend in the house over the likes of JoJo, Shane, Frank, Wil, Joe and Ian. However, she's not making any friends by moping all the time.

At the Veto Ceremony, Shane did what he had to and saved himself, and Frank did what he had to and nominated Danielle. All of the three nominees were those who voted for him to leave, and therefore he made no new enemies by putting them up. He also secured a deal with Shane thanks to Boogie's nudging. I'd say his HoH week is going a lot smoother than Willie's.

Tomorrow night, either Team Britney will be down to one member or Dan will follow Danielle out of the house. And another HoH competition will shift things up once again (I hope, as this week has been too safe. Good gameplay, bad TV). 

Episode Grade: B-

Episode MVPs: Frank Eudy & Shane Meaney

Original Airdate: 7/25/2012

LIVE FEED SPOILERS AHEAD!

Nothing major to report after last week's craziness. It looks as though JoJo will be departing tomorrow night without putting up much of a fight, thanks to Britney coaching her to lay low. Ashley has made lots of alliances with lots of people and it seems like most of them trust her. Could backfire later, but for now she's in a good position. If Shane wins HoH he wants to target Wil and Joe from Team Janelle.

TV Review: Big Brother 14x04: Straight Talkin'

Warning: The following article may contain spoilers. Reader discretion advised.


ML- I used to think that Survivor was the greatest game ever created. In it, you must vote out your opponents, and, in order to win, convince the eliminated on the jury to pick you over someone else. Lately, I've been more on the side of Big Brother being the greatest game, because it is designed to allow for constant shifts in power every week. And after the absolutely chaotic week in the house, we saw an absolute reversal of fortune. Game on.

Kara came out of the PoV ceremony claiming she was "all cried out" and ready to secure the 5 votes she needed to stay in the game. Frank, too, battled for his spot, making friends with his betrayer Willie under the assumption Willie had Frank's best interests in mind. Unfortunately for Frank, Willie only has Willie's best interests in mind, all the time. So when Willie subscribed to the plot of sending Janie's team's votes to Frank to re-focus his target on them, and Frank then found out, the Fruit Loops were bound to hit the fan.

BUT FIRST (Seriously, Emmy voters, why keep snubbing Julie Chen for Reality host? She's hilarious!) Britney had an egregious moment of paranoia and shared her suspicions of the coaches entering the game, on the basis of coaches having key holes in the memory wall, with Willie. Willie then called a "No Coaches Allowed" house meeting with the newbies to share this info. Wil at one point declared he was taking a 24-hour break from the game, which Willie later mocked to Frank using an effeminate voice and flamboyant hand motions.

Next, Joe spilled to Frank Willie's plan to pin the votes on Team Janelle, which Frank felt nullified their agreement. He then told Joe about the mocking, which spread like wildfire through the house and made it back to Wil. Britney, now convinced of Janelle and Dan working together, told Willie of his new image in the house. Willie confronted Frank, and the season's first blow-out went down in the backyard.

On one side, Willie "Grown Ass Man" Hantz, who was accused of making homophobic comments by many (not Frank), which I don't actually agree with. I'd mock Willie's voice, I'd mock Wil's voice, and JoJo's, and Danielle's, and Ashley's, because these people are characters chosen for their distinct voices. Wil is, in fact, gay and expressive. Was it nice of Willie to mock him? Absolutely not. But was it blown out of proportion by Frank, Joe and the rest of the house? Absolutely.

That brings us to Frank "Straight Talkin' Mother F*****" Eudy, who made a bold move standing up against bullying in the house which gained him great favor from Wil and Team Janie. Usually, advice is to avoid confrontation to get by, but in this case, Frank made many allies and cemented a leadership status in a new voting block determined to weaken Willie by keeping his greatest enemy around.

At the live vote, Frank expressed loyalty to his new side, while Kara sold someone out by saying they made a final 2 deal with Frank. Who was she referring to? We'll probably find out next week.

In the end, Danielle stood by her teammate and Shane and JoJo stood by Willie to vote out Frank, but Jenn/Ian from Team Boogie and Joe/Wil/Ashley from Team Janie had the numbers and eliminated Kara 5-3.

Last week, I predicted someone from Team Dan would go and chose Danielle instead of Kara. I picked Frank as the winner, and still think he can win the whole thing after surviving this crazy week.

My belief was strengthened at the HoH Competiton, Big Brother Break-In, which asked questions about videos the house guests were shown of a "burglar" breaking into the house and causing detail-oriented trouble. Shane was out first, and then with one question about shaving legs, it was down to Wil and Frank. At that point, it was a foregone conclusion that this new alliance would have the power no matter what. I think Wil threw the challenge so Frank could win, but whatever really happened, it proved that this game is so unpredictable and so entertaining that truly anybody can win.

Julie also announced a new twist to the Coaches' Competition- the winning coach can either save one player from nomination, as was true last week, OR trade one team member for one from another team, HoH excluded. I don't expect any coaches to do this, as there would be no camaraderie between the coach and either their disposed or claimed player.

Who will Frank nominate for eviction? Find out Sunday at 8! Thanks for reading.

Pick to Win: Frank
Next Evicted: Willie


Episode Grade: A
Episode MVP: Frank Eudy
Original Airdate: 7/19/2012

LIVE FEED SPOILERS AHEAD- SERIOUSLY STAY AWAY!!
Those predictions were made Thursday night immediately after the episode finished, before the publication of this article. At this point, one prediction has already come true- kind of. Willie went absolutely nuts, swearing at everyone and slamming doors, and entered the DR for a few hours, during which the feeds were down. By the time the Live Feeds came back on, Willie had been expelled from the game. That's right, folks, Willie Hantz is gone.

Janelle won the Coaches Comp and saved Ashley from nomination. Frank remained HoH and made his nominations- Shane and JoJo, both from Team Brit. Apparently the target is Shane, but if he saves himself, they're going to get Danielle out to eliminate Dan from the house.

TV Review: Big Brother 14x02: Willie or Won't He?

ML- It's ironic that one of the most talked-about people in the Big Brother house this season isn't actually in the house, but rather is the Big Brother of someone playing! HoH Willie Hantz opened up to his alliance about his lineage to Survivor's Russell, a smart move given they look exactly alike and lying about it would paint him in a bad light.

Appearances and accents aside, Willie doesn't remind me anything of Russell. He's not cocky at all, and actually shows some vulnerability. He understands it's a social game, something Russell never gathered. Most of all, he's likable, and doesn't proclaim how wonderful he is or speak in the third person.

ANY QUESTIONS? ANY QUESTIONS? No? No.

Speaking of wonderful, did you know Jenn played in an all-female heavy metal band? Because she hasn't mentioned that at all to anyone or the camera.

We got a lot of Ian being a creeper tonight, something I frankly don't understand. I'm not saying I haven't fantasized about crawling under the couches in the BB house, or spanking myself with spatulas and passing gas in pink underwear, but given the opportunity I wouldn't actually do any of those things. I'd rock a green banana hammock like Wil, obviously. Big Brother is a social game, and Ian seems to have no social awareness whatsoever. I think he and Russell would be a

The coaches took sides, with Boogie offering a chance to "Will it up" to Dan, referring to his infamous partner from seasons past Dr. Will, and not Willie or Wil, the people actually in the house. Can we at least cast some people with different names next year? Either that have a house full of Mikes- myself included. Dan warily agreed to the pact.

Janelle and Britney, however, were onto the boys' plan and quickly formed their own mega-alliance. They actually included their contestants in this plan, something Dan and Boogie didn't seem to do. I give props to Janie and Brit for organizing this so quickly, as it appears to have a strong backbone.

Willie did some strategizing with the house, and his encounter with Frank had a lasting impression on him, at least enough to merit a confessional. He found him threatening, but also trustworthy. Frank felt the same, as he told Boogie he felt his chances of being nominated were 1 out of 10.

Julie introduced a brand new competition to the house- Coach's Comp, which gives the winning coach the power to save one of their house guests from being nominated or backdoored that week. This is a great twist, in my opinion, that really integrates the coaches with the house guests.

The competition was a derby-style horserace that borrowed from a classic Survivor challenge done in Seasons 10, 13, 17 and probably others: Two contestants run in the same direction around a track until one catches the other and "tags" them, or in this scenario, pulls the tail off of their horse. Big Brother may be the most strategic game in the world, but it's competitions sure are the stupidest.

Boogie won his heat against Britney "Strength of a 6-Month Old" Haynes, and Dan threw his race against Janelle to keep the heat off of Danielle and Kara. The BB: All-Stars rivalry came to a head in the final round, which Boogie dominated, giving him the power to grant someone safety.

He chose Ian, who spends all of his time bouncing on a ball in the pool rather than actually talking to people. Is it a smart move? Perhaps, as it grants someone on his team safety, but it puts pressure on Frank and ROCKSTAR Jenn by the HoH. Good for Ian, though. Maybe he can learn not to creep on the girls in the shower and start talking to them at dinner? One can only hope.

Each coach also had to pick 1 Have Not from their team, and Shane, Danielle, Ashley and Ian were chosen to eat slop and sleep on the terribly uncomfortable-looking beds. I don't think the Coaches Comp winner should have had to pick a Have Not, but regardless, it's a good way to put people from different groups in a room together.

Britney, Janelle and Willie had a pow-wow and determined Boogie and Dan's MVPs are Frank and Kara and it might be smart to attack them at the jugular early on. Boogie suggested Willie nominate JOE, WHO HAS STOLEN DAN'S STATUS AS DIARY ROOM SCREAMER AND COOKS TOO MUCH DAMN FOOD.

In the end, Willie stuck by his alliance and put up Kara and Frank. Both of these players look like great players and threats down the road, so it's huge for Willie to have targeted them so soon. Will it bite Willie in the butt if Frank manages to save himself and gets revenge for their broken agreement? Anything can happen in the Big Brother house!

Episode MVP: Willie Hantz
Episode Grade: B
Original Airdate: 7/15/2012


SPOILERS AHEAD: LIVE FEED RECAP!
It's hard to believe but it's Day 9 in the house, and the PoV ceremony has already been concluded! Here's what's been going down:
-Shane won PoV, in a competition that had to do with sliding around (Shane and Frank scuffed themselves up) and collecting exact change and throwing it into something. The players chosen by draw were Wil, Shane and Danielle.
-Shane planned not to use the Veto, as it would put his alliance in a bad position and he wants either Kara or Frank out anyway.
-Ian has weirded everyone out in the house, from quacking like a duck to kicking himself in the face. Many on Britney and Janelle's teams are convinced he's America's Player.
-The Have-Not room has been brutal for those sleeping in it. Ashley and Shane both hurt their backs.
-Britney and Janelle have had private discussions about the possibility of entering the game at some point. It doesn't seem like they know this for sure, but they surely expect it as a possibility.
-Wil, Britney and Janelle are all very close and are planning a "girls alliance" with Ashley and JoJo.
-The gameplay has been harder than ever thanks to the coaches' presence. Dan has been telling Kara and Danielle what to do and who to talk to, as they can't even think for themselves. Britney has surprised me by how good of a coach she has been, constantly playing the game for her people. Boogie seems disappointed with his people, as Ian needs coaching in basic social skills and Jenn is a creep. Janelle has given good advice to Wil and Ashley, but not so much Joe that I've seen. Joe's plan is to stick by Wil.
-Boogie has alienated everyone in the house, and even Frank is telling people he wants no part in listening to Boogie. Boog did have a point today when he called out the messy girls on not cleaning, as now they've got tons of ants.
-Danielle is super into Shane and apparently is here for a showmance. Shane is going to use her but has no feelings for her (or so he says to his alliance).
-Kara has been super paranoid and trying to talk to people, while Frank has been quietly trying to make alliances.
-As of right now, it's still unclear who is going home. Jenn and Ian will vote for Kara and Danielle will vote for Frank, but the rest of the house plans on voting together. They're torn between booting Kara in order to systematically get rid of Danielle next week so that Dan is gone for good from the game, and kicking out Frank, who knows the game very well, is a major threat (he nearly won the PoV) and has been making the same deals to Britney and Janelle. At this point, it could still go either way, but HoH Willie wants Kara out because he feels if she wins HoH she'll only come after him and Shane, whereas Frank would also target Wil. Britney wants Frank out, as he isn't keeping his word.