TV Review: Homeland 2x02: "Beirut is Back"

ML- The most heartbreaking moment of "Beirut is Back" was Carrie's panicked breakdown to Saul on the roof of their Lebanese hideout. Despite risking her life and potential for recovery to ship out and help Saul & David Estes extract information from Fatima Ali, Saul admitted to not wanting her there in the first place. All Carrie ever wanted was to do her service to America, so much so that she put her own health on the back burner and focused 100% on Nazir. So when she cries to Saul that she had never been so sure and so wrong about Brody and how much it screwed her up, we, like Saul, gain a greater appreciation for her character.

Yes, she's obsessive and unconventional in her methods, and frankly her handling of her condition was unprofessional and completely deserving of her termination. There would be no issue, and all of us would be on the same side as Saul, if the audience didn't know how right she was. She's struggling to find the answers to a test she already aced, and her quest for someone to believe her is one the audience will be deeply invested in.

Has she found that person already? The episode ended with Saul going through the bag that Carrie foolishly retrieved from Fatima's house, searching for helpful information in the files and documents. Nothing. He notices, though, a stitch in the fabric of the bag itself and tears to reveal a chip. On the chip is the video we saw Brody make in last season's finale, where he stood in the storage unit and explained his forthcoming terrorist actions. The last shot we're treated to is Saul watching this video, aghast, and coupled with Carrie's confession from earlier, the episode packs an unexpected punch into the gut of anyone doubting whether this season would live up to the first.

Nobody expected this season to reach this critical point yet. It surely spells bad things for Saul and especially Brody, but also gives Carrie a new lease on life she may not have expected. Does Saul go to Carrie to begin comparing theories off-the-record? Does he go to Estes without involving Carrie at all? Does he keep it to himself and do some private investigating of his own? Saul is now involved in the scheme as much as Carrie is, and who knows what Brody will do when his back is against the wall. Mandy Patinkin is much more expendable than Claire Danes.

Brody already has plenty of conspiracy theorists in his midst. His old Marine buddies, Mike included, ask him to check the confidential files on the Tom Walker case to see if there's any information on who his real killer was or if any other suspects were involved. Brody lies and explains the files say nothing, which everyone expected him to do. The congressman can not catch a break, as now even his friends are turning their eyes his direction. He's going to have to be much more careful in the coming weeks.

Careful, as in not sending text messages from situation rooms in the Pentagon. He tips off Abu Nazir in one of the tensest moments the series has had so far, but it seemed kind of unrealistic. When the Vice President thinks someone tipped Nazir off, wouldn't it be protocol to search everyone in the room before they exited? Brody is lucky to have gotten away so easily there, but I suppose that's now the least of his worries.

Nazir did survive, despite Carrie and Saul's best efforts. The character truly has transformed into a force of nature; when he stepped out of that car, I gasped as if I saw a ghost, or even a real-life terrorist. I suspect he'll go into hiding for a while, as his trust in many has been compromised.

The second unrealistic thing that kept me from giving this episode a perfect score was Carrie's retrieval of the bag. Sure, it was an exhilarating scene and led to Saul's ultimate discovery of the chip, but the whole thing was too much of a suspension of my disbelief, even with Carrie in her fragile state. Putting everyone's lives in danger of the Lebanese civilians was too risky even on her part, manic or not.

Carrie returns home, considering her mission to have been a failure. The woman in the car with her mentions Carrie must have heard it from everyone and their brother, but thanks her anyway. From what we saw, nobody thanked her. It's always been a thankless job for Carrie, and she's never minded, but this time it wasn't a job, it was a favor. Not to be thanked for a favor that big is going to make her even further re-evaluate her stance on the CIA, which could be trouble once Saul approaches her with his intel.

The only other development this week was Dana with her new non-moronic boy toy, Finn Walden, aka the one she called out during her "Muslim Dad" rant. Could the congressman's daughter coupling with the Vice President's son be a match made in heaven or yet another political complication, especially if things don't end well or she spills some secrets? Time will tell. By the pace that the show is traveling at right now, for all we know that time could be tonight.

Episode Grade: A
Episode MVP: Claire Danes
Original Airdate: 10/07/2012

TV Review: New Girl 2x04: Neighbors

DA- Who wants to start an Arcade Fire? It’s a TGIF marathon on New Girl tonight, well for Jess at least. But in the end thank god it was Tuesday because we got another consistently funny New Girl episode to discuss.

Instead of working on her resume to get a new job, Jess instead has been “practicing” dropping things as Steve Urkel from Family Matters. This saddens Schmidt. He liked the old Jess. You know the one that was inspiring and did not work at Casserole Shanty. However after a group of “hipster” millennials move in across the hall, Schmidt wishes both types of Jess stay away as he proves he is still the cooler one of the group.

One of the reasons why Schmidt wants to prove he still has it is because the guys call him old. Although he says he is going to live forever. At least that is what his $49.95 real lifetime expectancy service says. Even though Schmidt will be alive for robot sex, according to the site Winston only has a few years left to live!

After an awkward evening hanging with the youngins it looks like Jess wins.  She is similar to them and is still figuring her life out while Schmidt on the other hand is a like a lame parent who ruins a movie like Top Gun. At first it looks like Jess may lose it all when she spills popcorn but thankfully with the help of a famous Urkel line they have never heard of she wins them over. While I find this hard to believe (I am their same age and could understand all the TGIF references) we still feel happy for Jess because it is nice to see her get along and casser-roll.

Meanwhile Nick decides to start pranking Schmidt to make him think he is getting older. He shaves down his shoes a 1/8 of an inch, makes Schmidt’s pants longer, pretends he is deaf, and switches his fiber pills to make him constipated. He also goes above and beyond by taking a picture of the wall where Schmidt keeps track of his height shrinks it down and plasters the reduction back up.

Sound like a lot? Well Nick has been up since five for this new goal. Someone has to do it because his partner in crime Winston can never find the prank sweet spot. He either goes too far or too little. Then again maybe Nick is wrong. He wants to sprinkle the shoe shavings by Schmidt’s car outside to really mess with him. What do you think? Sounds crazy and prank-like to me.

Despite the signs, Schmidt will not admit that he is growing old and uncool so he decides to ask visor-wearing Jess for help. Unfortunately he didn’t listen to a word of her advice. From wearing a scarf and t-shirt combo and performing parkour, he is considered the opposite of cool (which I guess would be hot). However again here is where the kids are wrong. Schmidt can perform all the parkour he wants in my apartment (but if he ruins Top Gun that is where I draw the line).

But after realizing these are not the people to impress, Jess comes clean about her impressions and how she cannot hang out with them anymore. They try to get her back only for them to realize she is friends with the old cranky man from the stairs (Nick).

Meanwhile Schmidt still cannot understand why Jess gave up again but she explains to him that she did not give up teaching but she got fired. He understands but begs her to not give up teaching even if it is only a smile class (which I would get a straight A in if offered at Ithaca). In other Schmidt revelations, he learns that the kids do not hate him because he is old but because he is an “asshead” with a terrible personality. This excites him. He cannot change his age but his personality, that’s fixable! (Don’t change for them Schmidt. They do not even know if a dish dryer exists or not!)

In Winston C-story news, Winston runs in to a meeting at work and begs to have a new job. His wish is granted and he becomes a producer of a sports talk show…at 2:35 AM! In other words he will have about the same number of viewers Dual Redundancy had on ICTV! ZING!

But that is all for this week. As Stephanie Tanner would say (and later have her quote stolen by Jess) “how rude!” But don’t get mad at me. I will be back casser-rolling next week recapping another funny episode of New Girl. Until then watch out for people pranking you by hitting you with a ski. (Winston, I’m watching for you!)

Episode Grade: B+

Episode MVP: Schmidt (Max Greenfield) for parkouring in a scarf like only a grown man could.

Original Airdate: 10/9/12

TV Review: How I Met Your Mother 8x03: "Nannies"

DA- Oh why wasn’t this episode called Bangtoberfest? What’s Bangtoberfest you ask? Instead of not being the name for this episode it is an event Barney decides to throw for himself where he will learn to get over Quinn by of course banging some girls in the month of October. Even though the gang tells him he is not ready for any new relationships, with $7000 spent in merchandising and a T-shirt cannon Bangtoberfest and this episode is happening!

Besides Barney’s bangs there are two main stories this episode. The first involves Ted and Robin competing to show which couple is clicking between Robin and Nick vs. Ted and Victoria. Despite already signing for Nick’s package, Victoria keeps tampons at Ted’s apartment, so advantage Mosby! As for Marshall and Lily they need a nanny and will not choose their dad who recently came to live with them after his house burned down. Where is Mrs. Featherbottom when you need her? After interviewing many weirdos they finally find one that works and is in their price range. The only thing standing in their way is of course…bangtoberfest!

Barney, who was running low on creative pickup lines, decided to start holding nanny interviews to help raise Edgar as his new move. I would introduce you to him but he is currently asleep and he also doesn’t exist. Marshall and Lily’s perfect nanny decided to go work with Barney before she ran away from him disgusted by this ruse. Despite Marshall jumping for joy by having Hot Wheels in Barney’s apartment, this angers Marshall and Lily who just need someone to watch little Marvin on Lily’s first day back to work.

Even though Barney is a womanizing con, he is no monster. He pays the large salary required for their top nanny choice but perhaps money was never the issue. Lily has a hard time letting little Marvin go. However Marshall does not care because the transaction included his Hot Wheels so all is well in the world of Mr. Erikson.

Unfortunately for Barney all the nannies come together to attack him in the street and put a pacifier up a hole he cares not to mention. As for Robin and Ted, both agree that their relationships are not perfect (Nick is a sensitive guy that cries over football and Victoria is just a plain slob). They both agree to make them work but as we all know (and as Mr. Saget reminds us) neither will last.

In the end Lily cannot let Marvin go and decides just to stay and nap with him. The only problem is that she wakes up to find a stuffed monkey in her hands! After a brief moment of panic and a break in the fourth wall, Lily’s dad, as it turns out, decided to take care of little Marvin for the day. (After first replacing him in Lily’s arm by a sub and later the monkey once he got hungry).

Lily is then reminded that he was once a stay at home dad before his gambling addiction and that he is capable of raising a child. He will even run into a burning house for a child photo album (and for potato salad of course). While he may have been missing in the past he is here now and that is what counts.

One person that I am surprised to still see around at the end is the nanny Barney bought for Lily and Marshall. To perhaps get every bang for his buck, Barney after first hiring her to help coach him in his creative pickup lines, sleeps with her. Not just once but five times! Talk about a deal!

While we all know this will not be Barney’s wife, could this new character be the woman we all have been waiting for? Is she perhaps Ted’s wife and thus the mother?! Only time will tell…but I’m seventy-five percent sure she isn’t.

Episode Grade: B+

Episode MVP: Mickey Aldrin (Chris Elliot) who always delivers in every performance. 

Original Airdate: 10/8/12

TV Review: Dexter 7x02: Sunshine and Frosty Swirl

DA- Put yourself in Deb and Dexter’s shoes (one of each I guess). Your sister just found out you were a serial killer so what do you do? Of course chase her at full speed out of your apartment at night. Nothing scary about that! However I can see why Dexter did what he did. He is already running out of options and it is only episode two.

Within minutes Deb gets hit with more bomb shells. Dexter is the Bay Harbor Butcher, Harry taught him everything he knows, and that he has even given his darkness a name. Deb admits that she is the worst detective in the world to not see any of this but Deb you’re not. At least you found out unlike the entire crime team at Miami Metro. With emotions running high Dexter asks what she is going to do now and she does what I believe any woman finding a serial killer may do, punch him and get out of his apartment!

While Deb goes to research why serial killers do what they do (with her information coming from her once fling Frank Lundy), Dexter sees the hand from the Ice Truck Killer murders. Deb dragged it out and he wonders how did it get to him. After looking through the evidence locker Dex is told by Masuka that it was sold online to an unknown buyer. Not even whiz-kid Louis could find the name. Then it hits Dexter…oh yeah Louis.

Cut to Deb leading a meeting about Mike’s shooting. “Remember him?” she asks. Nope. But continue on Deb. Dexter volunteers to go investigate another crime scene only to be told no by his boss sister. It is all part of her master plan to fix Dexter and his “addiction” in her homemade rehab program. Dexter argues that dad tried this and it will never work but Deb reminds him he does not have any choice (because she is a lieutenant and can arrest him remember Dex?)

Meanwhile in other Miami Metro news, LaGuerta has had a private lab analyze the found blood side. It does belong to Travis Marshall. She later requests Bay Harbor Butcher evidence from the FBI only to see what could have been seen from a photograph that yes the slides he used is just like the slide she analyzed. Quinn also puts his great skills to the task and talks with the strippers at the club about the death of the prostitute and Mike. The stripper gives some information and asks Quinn to find the man and put a bullet in his head. He says that they do not technically do that. Well almost everyone…

Inside the Deb rehab program she decides to spend every waking moment with Dexter. Now Deb is this just an excuse for you to get closer to the guy you recently said you had growing feelings for? She probably will not want to after Dexter describes his dark passenger and how the blood trickles behind his eyelids becoming a black flood throughout his body. The pain is so intense that it feels like his head will explode. Oh come on Dexter. That’s just a migraine. Take some Advil. As for the black blood thing yeah you may want to get that checked out.

Unable to sneak out to investigate Louis’ apartment at night, Dexter tries to take over for Masuka in the field. He has to clear it with sister first who says of course but she is coming too. Thankfully tweedledee and tweedledum (Batista and Quinn) arrive to pull Deb away so Dexter can break into Louis house. What Dexter finds on Louis’ computer even scares him and he is a serial killer. Not only does he have a video exclaiming how he wants Dexter to suffer but he also has one where he talks about toys and gets interrupted by a prostitute to give him a blowjob! I have not been this confused by a computer video in Dexter since this from season five.

Louis comes in of course and since this is probably the only time Dex can get out of the house, he decides to push Louis against the wall and scare the crap out of him. It turns out he sent him the hand because Dexter hated his game. Oh go cry me a river. He tells Louis he never wants to see him again and Louis agrees but then again I would too if Michael C. Hall was screaming in to my face.

Back at the crime scene Deb asks where he was but Dexter reassures her that he didn’t kill anyone so she doesn’t need to worry. Hey Dexter word of advice to not get caught you and Deb need to tone it all down. Between talking here and at the station about your serial killer addiction it may raise some red flags. Then again you are at Miami Metro so…

In “killer of the season” news, they think someone in the brotherhood of the Ukrainian mob tried to send a message to them about killing Viktor. They jump to conclusions and think it was an ex-employee. In a game of role-playing, the head of the organization pretends to hold an exit interview which really just involves getting a screwdriver to the eye. Don’t screw around if you want a better severance package I guess.

After Dexter is shocked to see Louis later that night at his apartment telling him he will see him at work tomorrow. He decides to put a sedative in his sister’s steak (like any good brother would do) and sneak out to send another message to Louis. When Dexter sees the blood from the sedative mark in Louis neck, he begins to feel his dark passenger. However perhaps due to Dr. Deb’s program, he calls her for support. She calls this a victory because unlike what their dad said, he does have control. He does leave Louis on a random park bench to send a message once Deb leaves the guy who just snuck out of the house and almost killed another person.

At the end back at the crime scene, Dexter talks with a convict who is helping the police locate bodies he buried many years ago. Dexter wonders if he grew a conscious but he said it was always there and that he just gave up over time. Dexter wonders if he should just give up too. But before he can decide for sure the convict just jumps in front of a truck. He did not have a conscious and he never changed. He never wanted them to find the bodies. He just wanted a few more days in the sun and some ice cream. Who could really blame him? Who doesn’t like ice cream?

As a slow motion Deb hurries back from the ice cream stand we all have to wonder if she thinks Dexter pushed him to help release his dark passenger from the night before. However we should be able to find out quickly next week in another fast paced episode of a show that has stopped fooling around and created some real life stakes for our serial killing friend.

Episode Grade: B+

Episode MVP: Louis Greene (Josh Cooke) Finally some character development for this guy!

Original Airdate: 10/7/12

TV Review: Survivor 25x03: The Four-Finger Plan

ML- Big props to Malcolm this week, who was able to put the good of the tribe as a whole (and himself in the long run) ahead of his sexual desires and boot out Angie. It was no surprise to the audience watching that Angie was going, especially after her opening confessional where she boasted "each and every one of my tribe mates trusts me and I trust them". Yeah, okay. If I ever went on Survivor, I'd be in a Jamie Newton-level constant state of paranoia, never telling the camera I was confident about anything so they could never use it against me in the edit.

Pete emerged as a threat tonight as he formed a tentative alliance between himself, Abi-Maria, Artis and Lisa, alienating RC and his eventual threat, Skupin. Abi-Maria is in the best place of everyone on that tribe, having positioned herself into 2 alliances and holding the Hidden Immunity Idol she found about thanks to RC's clue. Unfortunately for her, she's in a Natalie Bolton-level constant state of batshit craziness. I don't see her or Peter, who now reminds me of Gregg Carey in Palau, taking this all the way to the end.

On Kalabal, Penner was still on the outs. I have to praise him for managing to say the phrase My Ass!, though, while mentioning how his aforementioned body part was hurting from the shelter. When Jeff and Dana noticed the bull emblem was gone, they alerted the tribe that he probably had a hidden immunity idol. Jeff was respectful, not angry, noting how Penner as a returning player was playing smarter than everyone else.

When Penner later approached Jeff, it was a good move for the veteran to try and gain favor, but unfortunately his new "alliance" didn't feel the same way. A four-fingered shake, as it seems, is not a real binding handshake because men need to use all 5 fingers to shake for real. The logistics behind this baffle me and I can only come to the conclusion that Jeff is an idiot.

Matsing continued their bad-luck streak by losing their boat, as well as the Immunity challenge and accompanying rewards. Momentum is probably the most important factor in Survivor, as it affects morale and contestants' mindsets in unbelievable ways. Matsing is in deep trouble, even without Angie to keep the average IQ down.

It's hard to pick a favorite to win in the game right now. Statistically, it doesn't make sense to put money on any of the Matsing members. Kalabal just isn't getting the screentime or story lines they need to signify a late-game surge. Tandang gets a lot of strategy, so the best winner bet probably comes from here. Is it Pete? Skupin? RC? Abi? Lisa? Definitely not Artis.

My money is still on Denise, despite the odds. She kept Malcolm in line, dominated the challenge and keeps me interested in her as a player despite her negative attractiveness. She needs to stop mentioning her practice and the money she makes back home, however, or else people will never give her the vote based on lack of need.

Episode Grade: C+
Episode MVP: Abi-Maria and Pete
Original Airdate: 10/03/2012

TV Review: Parenthood 4x04: "The Talk"

ML- Yup. They went there.

Crosby's recording session with some... verbose rappers was interrupted by a curious Jabbar, who was subjected to his very first utterance of the "n word". As the whitest guy you'll ever meet, I probably would have handled the situation similarly to how Crosby did- compare the word to that of "Voldemort" in Harry Potter. It took Jasmine, who stepped up to the plate as an incredibly powerful, likable character and mother this week, to share her personal perspective on the word and its history with her son, teaching an important lesson to Jabbar, Crosby and the audience alike.

The story about how her mother had the same conversation while Jasmine was Jabbar's age struck a chord with me- this issue has been passed down from generation to generation for as long as anyone living can remember. Sure, there's the "we have a black president" argument of universal tolerance, but racism still exists and is strong in many parts of the country. The fact that, as Jasmine says, the world has gotten better with every generation is a comforting thought, but it's ignorant to expect Jabbar's life as a half white, half black child to be nothing but smooth sailing.

Crosby's reaction to The Talk was a great moment as well. It's a word that will never, ever hurt him but carries so much weight and anger against the people he loves most. He can never relate to Jabbar in this scenario, and that scares him and makes him feel inadequate. As Jasmine points out, though, there are a bunch of issues associated with being a boy that she can't tackle. As irritating as these two characters have been on their own and as a couple, they always, always knock it out of the park when they focus on being parents.

Speaking of knocking it out of the park, can we talk about Sam Jaeger? Not only did he direct last week's awesome episode, he got to shine as an actor this week as well. Victor was destined to fail at baseball, mostly because he'd never really played before as far as we knew. Watching baseball, he quickly found, was not the same as swinging a bat. He put in the effort, though, as did Joel as a team dad, but he couldn't follow through and stormed off the field in an angry rage.

When Joel confronts Victor later to tell him how proud he is, you believe it. Victor has been through so much, most of which we've never heard about but hopefully will one day. To adjust to the big Braverman clan as (seemingly) painlessly as he's done and be willing to try new things shows a strong character. Julia and Joel have another great kid on their hands, and the game of catch at the end shows how both of them realize it.

Hank was nervous about spending time with his own daughter, Ruby, who visits once a month for a weekend. She's changing, he notes; she used to be a quiet, shy girl who needed her dad, now he feels more like an inconvenience to her life. She doesn't help his confidence any, shooting down his attempts to play mini-golf and chat about The Hunger Games. When Hank has to go off on a shoot, Ruby elects to stay behind with Sarah rather than spend time with dad, a crucial blow.

Sarah pulls off a sly bonding caper when she gets Ruby to help her with the lights and discovers the real issue is that Ruby is missing Aubrey Peterson's totally epic co-ed pool party because she has to be with dad, and all her friends are doing cool things while she's being boring. Sarah suggests the classic motto of "When in doubt, lie" and tells her to say she's at a photoshoot... with Justin Bieber. Ruby jumps at this, and Hank arrives later to help Photoshop a picture of them together. Now both officially awesome, Hank and Sarah share in their victory. Sarah later finds photos Hank took before Ruby was born, when he had to give up his dram to be a dad. She offers he hang them up, but they're too hard to look at.

Yes, on paper Sarah and Hank are a better pair than Sarah and Mark, but I'm not happy about the inevitable end to the engagement. Hank is far too much of a curmudgeon to make it work with goofy Sarah in the long run.

I was proud of Max this week. He was able to go up to 29 strangers and state his case for his student council campaign, receiving the 25 necessary signatures. Adam and Kristina were proud, too, but devastated when they saw many of the signatures were fake names and offensive messages to the oblivious Max. The disagreed over whether Max should keep running- Adam thought it would be better to spare him the embarrassment and ridicule, Kristina thought they should support his newfound motivation. I was totally Team Kristina here- harsh words said against Max would probably roll off his shoulders quickly based on his emotional capacity, but being denied something he wanted would grind his gears. If he loses, I think he will understand and be content, but he must at least try.

The underlying subtext of the matter was Kristina's upcoming surgery, which she wanted to postpone until she could get Max's campaign underway. Let's not forget Kristina was a campaign organizer in the past, though the show mostly has, especially the candidate from last year who Amber was involved with. Adam disagreed here, too, siding with the doctor that she should get the tumor out sooner rather than later. In the end they reached a compromise: Max would run, but Kristina would have the earlier surgery.

As great as all of these story lines were (really, all of them clicked), my favorite was that between Zeek and his new friend, Ryan York (played by FNL alum Matt Lauria). Zeek had so little to do that he made a huge deal out of an air sound coming from his sprinklers, a hilarious but totally understandable issue for a retired man his age. Camille suggests he volunteer his efforts at the VA, and he begrudgingly agrees.

At first, he blends into the background to avoid actual responsibility. Ryan strikes up a conversation about burned coffee (which Zeek made) and the two quickly find a common bond -- Ryan just arrived back from Afghanistan and was having trouble adjusting. Zeek advised him that things get better, though for a while you lose your sense of identity.

Ryan seemed genuinely helped by the old man, and Zeek got paid back when Ryan, a former irrigation specialist, pinpoints the problem with the sprinklers. Together they form an unlikely pair, both unappreciated in an ever-changing world they just can't quite adjust to. When Zeek returns to the VA, he asks for a job that can really allow him to make a difference. Zeek has raised such brilliant kids, mentoring another will undoubtedly lead to good things!

Episode Grade: A
Episode MVP: Can't decide between Craig T. Nelson, Peter Krause, Sam Jaeger, Joy Bryant & Dax Shephard.
Original Airdate: 10/02/2012

TV Review: New Girl 2x03: Fluffer

DA- The night starts off with a worried Jess waking up Nick in the middle of the night. What is she worried about? A demon under her bed? A break-in at the apartment? No she is just worried about talking after her casual sex with her new boy toy. She needs some advice from Nick since her first idea was to leave him with crayons and paper as she checks her non-existent fantasy football team. While Nick may not be ready for this episode to start and wants to go back to bed, I’m ready to check my stats so let’s go!

The guys all decide to go on a date with Jess to show her that she can talk with a guy and still have casual sex with him. They do this because it is their duty as friends to help their friends have meaningless sex. Of course Nick is the only one to show up at the restaurant. Schmidt is across town trying to meet his idol Kanye West. He brought along Winston (since he is black) and his Kanye-like whale belt in hopes of being Kanye’s last call of the night.

Jess and Nick still decide to have their date and to help loosen them up Jess snuck some wine in a thermos. Hopefully this never gets swapped with a kid at school (if she can get her job back) or some definite sitcom hijinks will ensue. Schmidt meanwhile cannot get in with his belt on. (Is it just me or do fashion “codes” at clubs and bars never make any sense. So just because it is after nine on Friday I can’t wear shorts in but any other time or day I can?) However next time I get turned away I may bust out Schmidt’s new lie of being Mitt Romney’s kid, Tad.

Inside the club Cece cannot believe anyone is mistaking Schmidt as a Romney. Winston as his security rushes her away when girls begin hitting on now Tad Tuggb Romney (there is a silent b and two g’s, for the correct spelling you are going to have to ask Tuggb). Meanwhile after Jess leaves the date when her boy texts her, Nick begins to feel like an emotional “fluffer.” He is just there to fill the boyfriend role without any of the rewards. When Nick brings this up to Jess she asks if he wants the rewards anyways. Instead of coming out and saying his true feelings, which we know, are there, he says only “sleeping Nick” has thought about that and that’s different. Nick says she needs her to have sex but Jess schedules a date to prove him wrong.

Unfortunately before Tuggb can seal the deal he begins to slip up about his father and family including all the times he drinks with his Mormon dad and how he is not in any Romney family photos (someone had to take the photo!) He comes home and spills to Cece why he liked believing Romney was his dad (Schmidt’s dad left him when he was 8). Cece tells him you have to forgive your dad because not everyone is a presidential candidate. She hugs him into her memory foam-like chest perhaps re-sparking their relationship flame in the process.

On Jess’ date she comes right out and asks him if friends can build someone a dresser (like Nick refused to do) without being in a relationship. He said he would maybe do it for the make a wish foundation or if they were married. By building furniture that implies you will share it someday together. Despite learning this and that Adele is another big no-no, Jess comes back to the apartment where Nick is building the dresser anyways. He is tired of people telling him what to do and he can build anything that he wants. The only condition for him is that he does not go on anymore pre-sex dates. While she agrees I have a feeling this will not be the last pre-sex date between Jess and Nick. The only difference will be how the date ends and whom Jess decides to “build a dresser with” if you catch my drift.

Eww. Not like that. You all disgust me. Tuggb Romney out! 

Episode Grade: B+

Episode MVP: Jake Johnson

Original Airdate: 10/2/12