TV Catch-Up: Survivor Philippines: Fate of the Final Four

image courtesy of survivoroz

ML- We have our final four! I think this is one of the best final fours in recent memory. It's also the final four I predicted back at the merge! Here's a note: If they focus on a final four/three pact positively, they most likely make it to the end (stretching back to Tagi, Colby/Tina/Keith, Boran, V/Neleh/Kathy/Pappy/Sean, Chuay Ghan, Romber, Aitu, Todd/Amanda, Black Widow Brigade, JT/Stephen, Foa Foa Foursome, Boston Rob + The Rob Zombies, Upolu, Kim/Chelsea). Alliances shown negatively can generally be deciphered by their music cues- think about the Four Horsemen of FIji or even Yau/Penner/Ami/Eliza in Micronesia. Flourishing music - endgame, sporadic frumpy tones = bumbling idiots filling up the jury. Anyway, I'd say everyone has a decent shot of swaying enough jurors with the right Final Tribal speech. But what should each person say to make his/her case?

The jury so far consists of RC, Jeff Kent, Artis, Pete, Penner, Carter and now Abi-Maria. That's 4 former Tandang members and 3 former Kalabal, with at least one more to join. According to Dalton Ross at Entertainment Weekly, there's only one more person joining the jury and a Final 3. That's surprising, as only two seasons out of the past 24 have done that: Australia, which added 3 extra days, and China, for reasons I don't remember. That being said, it's not unprecedented.

One school of thought is that there was too much story to tell that they decided to split things up differently in editing. Or, perhaps something happens at Final 4 that takes a bit of time. It would make sense for there to be a tie vote, seeing as how its 2 Tandang vs. 2 Matsing left, and a fire-making challenge would be an epic precursor to the finale. Please, Survivor gods, let Skupin be subjected to a fire-making challenge AND WIN. That would be such poetic justice, the man finally conquering fire that took him out of the game over 10 years ago.

As a metric for determining who has the best chances, I'll rank the likelihood of each juror voting for each contestant if he/she makes it to the final 3. If its the person a juror is most likely to vote for, that person gets a 4, while least likely gets a 1. Make sense? Let's start with Skupin.

image courtesy of survivor fever.net

Mike Skupin is a returning player, and all we've seen this season is animosity towards returning players. On his tribe, he's been regarded most positively by RC, the first juror. He's also gotten positivity from Lisa and Penner, but the favor with the latter man seems to have turned. Contestants in the opposing Tandang faction of Abi-Maria, Artis and Pete have all spoke ill of him, especially Abi last night calling him an idiot and a moron. Survivor doesn't like to show us winners who are stupid, unless it's funny like Fabio. Fabio even got confessionals where he alluded to his goofiness being a ploy to lay low in the game. Skupin is getting a redemption story, but one that seems more personally satisfying than indicative of Survivor glory.

RC: 4 (Loves Skupin)
Jeff Kent: 1 (Hates returning players)
Artis: 1 (Hates Skupin, according to post-show interviews)
Pete: 1 (Bitter against Skupin/Lisa)
Penner: 2 (Betrayed by Skupin, may respect his game)
Carter: 1 (Bitter against Skupin/Lisa)
Abi-Maria: 2 (Called him and idiot and a moron)
Juror Tally: 12

What he needs to stress in his final speech:
-Despite the target on returning players, he made it to the Final 3.
-Survival experience benefitted Tandang tribe, who never went to Tribal pre-merge
-Underdog in his alliance, made moves to better his position

Things he should avoid:
-Holier-than-thou attitude. Don't call Pete, Abi or Artis "bad people", even though they were.
-The reward challenge where he made the rice trade. While arguably a good move, it pissed off all of his tribe mates.
-"Need". Skupin has a big family but is well-off.

Prediction: He'll only win if he: stays humble, pledges allegiance to Tandang yellow, owns his moves as self-preservation and is sitting next to both Malcolm and Denise. He needs Lisa on the jury to help garner favor for him, which probably isn't a likely outcome. With so much contempt for him and his gameplay, I don't think he'll be able to persuade any haters.

image courtesy of survivor dean

Malcolm is charismatic, athletic and a fan of the show. Mike and Lisa's decision to keep Denise in an attempt to beat Malcolm was terribly risky. On one hand, she definitely has a better shot of defeating Malcolm. But that also guarantees at least one of the original Matsing members is in the Final 3, if not both of them. Wouldn't you rather take your chances up against Malcolm knowing you'd have a better shot at Final 3 vs. Abi? Everyone is worried about Malcolm, as they should be. His edit has been very positive but not stellar. He comes off as cocky, something very few winners are shown as -- mainly the villainous ones like Hatch and Heidik, and Malcolm is no villain. His decision to turn on Denise could come back to bite him if word gets back to her that he was wishy-washy.

RC: 2 (Would more likely vote Skupin or Lisa, her Tandang brethren)
Kent: 3 (Physical threat, but he spent more time with Denise)
Artis: 4 (Not voting for Skupin, probably respects physicality)
Pete: 4 (More bitter towards Skupin/Lisa, probably respects physicality)
Penner: 1 (Did you see him flip off Malcolm at TC?)
Carter: 4 (Betrayed by Skupin/Lisa)
Abi-Maria:4 (I'd like to put definite, but nobody knows where Abi's head will be at. Her voting Skupin doesn't make sense and she hates Denise. It's either Lisa or Malcolm)
Juror Tally: 22

What he needs to stress in his final speech:
-So far, he's won the most immunities. The past 4 winners have all been the person to go into Final Tribal with the most Immunity Challenges under their belt (overall, the person in the FTC who won the most ICs has won the game 12 times and lost 11. In Panama, Aras and Danielle each had 1 IC win). Skupin/Denise could still possibly tie him. (Another fun fact- the final IC winner has only won the game 10/24 times, 4 of those being the last 4 winners Kim, Sophie, Rob and Fabio).
-Super underdog. He was on a sinking ship at Matsing, made it to Tandang and proved himself physically adept.
-Found HII and never had to play it
-Work his charm

Prediction: If he makes the Final Tribal Council he's a force to be reckoned with. However, he's not getting the hero edit most young male winners get. If he wins, he's being shown more like Aras, which was an anomaly because of bigger characters Cirie and Terry. My guess is Lisa's plan to keep Denise to defeat Malcolm will pay off and he'll head to the jury. If I'm wrong, he wins it all.

image courtesy of thegazette.com

Denise is the biggest underdog in the game. She's been to every Tribal Council of the season, yet she hasn't been edited as a cancer bringing the team down. Instead, her regard has been almost unanimously positive, except from Abi-Maria, the villain. It's unfortunate that her edit has been centered around just Abi bashing the past few weeks, as a well-rounded winner needs more oomph. Then again, Coach had all the oomph and Sophie pulled out the win.

RC: 1 (I don't remember any interaction between the two, she'd vote Mike/Malcolm first)
Kent: 4 (Only member of the Final Four he aligned with & spoke highly of)
Artis: 3 (Bitter against Skupin/Lisa)
Pete: 3 (Bitter against Skupin/Lisa)
Penner: 3 (Aligned with her on Kalabaw)
Carter: 3 (Aligned with her on Kalabaw)
Abi-Maria: 1 (Rivalry with Denise)
Juror Tally: 18

What she needs to stress in her final speech:
-Went to EVERY TRIBAL COUNCIL and emerged unscathed.
-Loves to bring out Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. She's done all 3 very well
-Very articulate and concise when it comes to feelings, can probably use that to sway folks
-Loyalty
-Need of the $$

I think Denise has a great shot at winning, even against Malcolm. She is well-spoken and needs to emphasize her story. Play on the bitterness of the Tandang and appeal to the Kalabaw. Her edit, like Malcolm's, leaves me with some concern. They're both being overshadowed by someone, who doesn't deserve the win but may just eek it out.

image courtesy of haveuheard.net

Lisa. She's gotten so much focus in this game. Is she merely a great narrator on a personal journey, or can this woman, who has proclaimed over and over again how bad she is at this game, really win?

RC: 3 (Close with Skupin/Lisa)
Kent: 2 (She didn't flip on him but they weren't allies)
Artis: 2 (Tandang loyalty but in opposite alliances)
Pete: 2 (Tandang loyalty but in opposite alliances)
Penner: 4 (Shown connecting with her the most. I think he will win this or lose this for her, like Erik did to Natalie in Samoa)
Carter: 2 (Still betrayed)
Abi-Maria: 3 (Always placated by Lisa)
Juror Tally: 18

She's tied with Denise, making the ranking:
Malcolm 22
Denise/Lisa 18
Skupin 12

Which seems about right. Malcolm should win, but his edit isn't a runaway so I don't think he will. Skupin won't win, and we know that because everyone keeps saying that. So Denise and Lisa are evenly matched. Lisa has the editors on her side. She's been shown coming around to the game, especially with the help of her brother, Justice, who needs to be on my dream Family season (the cast of which I'll post below, for those interested).

As bitter as people are, I think Lisa will sway them. She did a great job of mentioning Tandang's winning streak, pleasing Pete and Artis. Previously, I thought she'd get 4th place with a Holly Hoffman redemption edit, but this seems bigger than that.

My biggest problem is that she hasn't made any moves. She's talked a big game but done nothing. She never had to vote until the merge. It was Michael who jumped at the opportunity to drop Artis, not her. She's screwed up with Malcolm's idol and shouldn't have told Penner he was going. Her post-Justice plan to axe Malcolm also didn't pan out over the course of two weeks. She should be getting torn apart by the jury, but the edit is treating her as if simply trying is good enough in Survivor. Its not.

My gut tells me Denise will win. The editing points to Lisa. The stats at this point say Malcolm has the best chance, but it's not a runaway and he needs that Immunity. I don't know about you, but I'm excited to see how this all shakes out. Who do you think will score the most jury votes and enter the Survivor winner's circle? Who will win Fan Favorite? My guess -- Malcolm. And how many people will get asked 0 questions at the finale? I'm thinking Roxy, Katie, Artis and Carter are all getting the shaft.

Leave some love below! Follow me on Twitter @miketvladue where I'll be live-tweeting the finale this Sunday at 8:00 EST! Check back next week, where I'll probably be trying to rationalize a Mike Skupin win. I'll also give an updated ranking of the winners and probably make a bunch of references to seasons you don't remember. It'll be a blast! Thanks for reading, happy finale!!

12/12/12 Episode grade: B+
Episode MVP: Malcolm

~Survivor: Family Edition Dream Cast~
1. Greg Buis' Sister, who left the creepy video message
2. Colby's Mom Gaye, who slept in the Aztek with him
3. Big Tom's son Bucky Bo, the craziest kid around
4. Kathy's son Patrick, who was just so apathetic about everything Survivor
5. Brian's stripper wife, because why not
6. Fairplay's friend Thunder D, because "she died, dude"
7. Rupert's wife Laura, because she got slobbery kisses all over her
8. Jenn's sister, because it would mean something
9. Shane's son Boston Powers, because he's probably old enough
10. Cirie's husband Honey Bunny, because she wouldn't marry a dud, right?
11. Terry's wife, because she seemed like a gamebot
12. Russell's wife Melanie, because who could marry him?
13. Amanda's sister, because she made all the bird calls
14. Matty's girlfriend, because she got proposed to
15. Taj's husband Eddie George, because famous
16. Colby's brother Reid, because COME ON, REID!!!
17. Fabio's mom, because Dayum
18. Kat's cousin Robby, because he was super weird
19. Lisa's brother Justice, because he rocked
20. Coach's assistant Coach, because WTF

TV Review: Survivor 25x09: Life > Game > Lisa

photo courtesy of tvequals.com

ML- Jonathan hit the nail on the head as to why he's such a beloved character on Survivor: he's a storyteller. He's basically doing the editors' jobs for them, spelling out the characters and their story. Lisa and Mike are the "Christian" group, not necessarily religious (though I know Skupin is mightily so, and I'm surprised that hasn't been made clearer given the show's recent infatuation with religious symbolism. He's been resurrected this season, for Christ's sake!) Survivor fans in the past have labeled Penner "Jonathan Christ, so he obviously fits in with them as well.

Abi-Maria, Pete and Artis are the "bully" group, and they've lived up to their title and then some. I can't believe how candid Abi-Maria is with Lisa and the rest of the tribe. She has literally no filter, and I can't hate her for it. Her immediate attack on Mike over the vote was spectacular, and I'm upset Penner 'fessed up. He may be the game's best storyteller, but he's not the best strategist.

That doesn't mean he can't work people. His manipulation of Lisa was some of the best I've ever seen done on the show. The two were both actors, though Penner never reached the same level of fame as Lisa. He came from a place of understanding, breaking down psychological barriers of child stardom. See, guys? Actors really have it rough.

Lisa pissed me off tonight. Sure, her emotional moment was touching and all. But she nearly had a breakdown after only one week of legitimate strategizing. The game, she lamented, was too big for her. Really, Lisa? A tired CBS reality show is too big for you? If Natalie White can win this, you'll be fine.

The Reward was my favorite moment, if only for the adorable misunderstanding with all the Filipino kids and Jonathan's "normal" name. Malcolm's enlightenment over giving back and working with kids again was equally moving. As hokey as the reward may seem to cynical audience members, I'm glad it had an impact on the contestants. Even mama Denise looked smitten by her herd of little ones.

Note about the Reward Challenge: A lot of people argue whether veterans have an inherent advantage returning to play again, which I mostly agree with, and I think they've proven it in the challenges this season. Mike was first to use the "toss pot high in the sky to dive at opponent" strategy a few weeks ago, and Penner's retrieval of all the bags was instrumental in Red's victory. Just saying.

The Immunity Challenge went by quickly, despite the apparent "learning curve", my favorite Probst-ism. I wondered whether I'd use my left hand to steady the paddle or roll the balls. By the time I made up my mind (hold left, roll right), Skupin had won. Good for him! Not a huge fan of his gameplay but it's nice to see him live one of his dreams. Of course, he gloated and boasted about it afterwards, in classic Skupin fashion.

He was the man to make the big move, though, despite the editing pointing us in the other direction. I bet fans who don't stick with the show to the final words assumed Lisa made the flop after all the awful treatment Abi-Maria showed her. No, Lisa still played the way of grace and loyalty and voted for Penner.

It was unsuspecting Artis who went home, though. He never really did anything of value this season except pick on Skupin, which makes sense now that Skupin got revenge. Denise was the mastermind of the plot, if you can call it that, based on her worry over Abi pulling the idol. Does Abi even know she can play her idol? Did Pete tell her yet? Either way, Denise got some positive strategy and some negative mocking of Abi finding the clam. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'm not so sure she's our winner anymore. Is Lisa shaping up to be America's sweetheart? Will Penner keep outsmarting these whippersnappers up to Final 3? Or could Pete pull a Brian Heidik and nastily drag a goat like Abi-Maria to the end? Let me hear your thoughts below!

Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Jonathan Penner
Original Airdate: 11/14/2012

FYI: Gordon Holmes over at XFinity TV is a big Survivor fan and has established the Survivor Hall of Fame. This is the third year it's running and three more past contestants will be inducted into the Hall, following in the footsteps of:

-Parvati Shallow
-Boston Rob Mariano
-Richard Hatch
-Russell Hantz
-Sandra Diaz-Twine
-Ozzy Lusth
-Cirie Fields
-Tom Westman

To vote, tweet your ballot to @SurvivorHall or like the Survivor Hall of Fame on Facebook for more info. Any player listed above and any player from the current season are ineligible.

I'll be discussing my final ballot with my Dual co-host David Allen in our new podcast coming next week, but maybe you guys can help me decide! Since there are three spots, I tend to balance between the three Survivor "O's"- Outwit, Outplay and Outlast. Here are my preliminary picks: comment and share your thoughts below to help me whittle them down!

OUTWIT- Strategic Players
-Tina Wesson (Australia & All-Stars) WINNER
-Vecepia Towery (Marquesas) WINNER
-Brian Heidik (Thailand) WINNER
-Rob Cesternino (Amazon & All-Stars)
-Jonny Fairplay (Pearl Islands & Micronesia)
-Chris Daughtery (Vanuatu) WINNER
-Yul Kwon (Cook Islands) WINNER
-Earl Cole (Fiji) WINNER
-Yau-Man Chan (Fiji & Micronesia)
-Todd Herzog (China) WINNER
-Stephen Fishbach (Tocantins)
-Sophie Clarke (South Pacific) WINNER
-John Cochran (South Pacific)
-Kim Spradlin (One World) WINNER

OUTPLAY- Physical Players
-Kelly Wigglesworth (Borneo)
-Colby Donaldson (Australia, All-Stars & Heroes vs. Villains)
-Ethan Zohn (Africa & All-Stars) WINNER
-Ian Rosenberger (Palau)
-Danni Boatwright (Guatemala) WINNER
-Aras Baskauskas (Panama) WINNER
-Terry Deitz (Panama)
-Amanda Kimmell (China, Micronesia & Heroes vs. Villains)
-James Clement (China, Micronesia & Heroes vs. Villains)
-J.T. Thomas (Tocantins & Heroes vs. Villains) WINNER
-Jud "Fabio" Birza (Nicaragua) WINNER

OUTLAST- Survivor Icons
-Susan Hawk, Rat and Snake Speech / Quit (Borneo & All Stars)
-Rudy Boesch, America's Hero (Borneo & All-Stars)
-Elisabeth Hasselbeck, The View (Australia)
-Jerri Manthey, Black Widow (Australia, All-Stars & Heroes vs. Villains)
-Jenna Morasca, Chocolate & Peanut Butter (Amazon & All-Stars) WINNER
-Rupert Boneham, America's Player (Pearl Islands, All-Stars & Heroes vs. Villains)
-Jenn Lyon, Rest In Peace (Palau)
-Stephanie LaGarossa, Last Girl Standing (Palau, Guatemala, Heroes vs. Villains)
-Erik Reichenbach, Dumbest Move Ever (Micronesia)
-Ben "Coach" Wade, Dragon Slayer (Tocantins, Heroes vs. Villains, South Pacific)

Check back next week for my final ballot in the Dual Redundancy podcast!

TV Recap: Survivor 25x06 & 25x07: Down to The Final 10

photo courtesy of examiner.com

ML- Many apologies for the belated reviews from the past 2 weeks of Survivor. Scheduling shows in has been difficult with a full schedule, let alone forming reviews. This season has been interesting, but I'm still waiting for it to kick into high gear. The merge episode could be seen as a step in the right direction, or an example of continued mediocre gameplay.

First, a jump back to the previous week, where Katie was eliminated. Kalabaw (which I unintentionally referred to as Kalabal every episode, showing how invested I am in this season) and Tandang faced a stalemate in the big ball Reward Challenge and struck a deal over rice. Tandang, which was consuming ALL OF THE RICE thanks to Skupin's selfish ways, agreed to take rice while Penner and the Kalabaws (awesome band name, by the way) took the big barbeque reward.

I'm surprised at how the deal was edited. Survivor fans know that big feast rewards may seem great going in, but they always go right through contestants' systems, leaving them worse off. A stable cache of rice would be the smarter, less appetizing move. The editors decided to show Skupin as the idiot and Penner as the hero, however. This really doesn't bode well for Skupin's chances at winning the game.

He wasn't in much of a position to win, anyway, but could have been had he and RC joined forces with  Jeff Kent and the Kalabaws (anything "and the Kalabaws" sounds awesome for a band). Jeff Kent had two options: keep himself, Carter, a loyal Penner, Denise, RC and Michael together and boot Pete. Sure, Malcolm is a threat, but for the first week it wouldn't be smart to put Denise in a position of having to backstab her ally. That way, the opposing power alliance of Pete, Abi, Artis and Lisa could be disintegrated, and future blindsides could be in play for Malcolm, Penner and Skupin. Kent and Carter could leisurely stroll to the finals and Kent could win.

Instead, he freaked out over returning players and targeted Jonathan and his idol. It backfired, and he lost a potential ally. Now it's Kent vs. Penner and Tandang has an even greater majority despite losing a number in RC. Denise must be a bad luck charm because all the tribes she's a part of die.

The most important part of the episode was Lisa finding Malcolm's idol and striking a Final 3 deal with him and Denise. This could potentially work out, provided Pete and Abi don't make a surge to the endgame. As Malcolm said, though, going to the finals with either of those ladies could be Survivor suicide, as they'd garner social votes. Lisa is impressing me with her Holly Hoffman-style strategic comeback, but previews for next week show her getting pretty trigger-happy (machete-happy?).

So Final 10. Here are my perfect predictions for how the rest of the season will play out:

10. Jeff Kent. The Penner "slash and burn" preview is a false alarm, as it was for Rory in Vanuatu and Sandra in HvV. Kent is more of a threat since Penner is idol-less.
9. Carter. Kent's lackey.
8. Penner. Goodbye, America's Happy Warrior.
7. Pete. Malcolm/Denise/Lisa pull in Mike to turn the tide.
6. Abi-Maria.
5. Artis.
4. Lisa.
3. Skupin. Returning player fatigue/unlikable
2. Malcolm. Close but...
1. Denise. No cigar. Denise survives every Tribal Council and defeats her former Matsing ally by 1 vote.

Episode Grades: B, B+
Episodes MVP: Jonathan Penner
Original Airdates: 10/24/12 and 10/31/12

TV Review: Survivor 25x04: Swan Prince or Ugly Duckling?

ML- Returning players risk a lot when they sign up for Survivor a second time. Jenna Morasca won season 6 and agreed to return for All-Stars despite her mom being sick with cancer (She ultimately quit and made it home in time to say goodbye before her mom passed). Those blessed with golden edits their first time around like J.T. and James open themselves up to be portrayed in completely different lights; as bumbling idiots and sore losers.

I think the worst thing to happen to a returning player is to be disappointed by an early elimination. Did anybody really enjoy the first half of All-Stars, as Tina, Rudy, Rob C, Jenna M, Hatch, Colby, Ethan and Jerri ALL went home pre-merge, while the likes of Alicia, Jenna L, Shi-Ann, Amber, Lex and Big Tom took the top spots? Same goes for Fairplay and Yau-Man in Micronesia, and Cirie and Tom in Heroes vs. Villains. Going home early is a hit to your confidence, as if maybe the first appearance was the fluke and this is your true measure as a player.

For Russell Swan, however, he doesn't even get that comparison. His first outing he failed on the physical level. This time he failed again, even worse, on the social and mental level. He wasn't by any means "All-Star" worthy to come back to play, and a second shot at the title affirmed he is just another mediocre competitor. His post show interviews have been painful to read and listed to -- the man clearly loved the game, he just had no understanding of his position in it or, most unfortunately, how to play it well.

Granted, he wasn't blessed with the most skilled competitors, but I'd choose Denise and Malcolm over any of the other blokes (minus Penner) any day. Tribes like Koror in Palau have been stacked with misfits and gone on to dominate under proper leadership. As much as he wants to be, Russell Swan is no leader. He was the ugly duckling of Survivor hoping to finally get his break, and this wasn't it.

Denise and Malcolm are in trouble. If the tribes stay the same, eventually they'll have to compete head-to-head in a fire building challenge for who gets to stay. If there is a tribe dissolve, they'll be separated without an idol and left to fend for themselves against the former six Tandang or Kalabal members. Chances are that they'll have some trouble fitting in.

The challenge was incredibly close, and one of the best finishes the show has had in a while. Many things about the episode were great; I mostly loved the wordless opening of Matsing members seated in the rain just trying to cope with their existence. Once upon a time, this was a show about real people taken out of their element and most of the episodes focused on camp life and cultural discrepancies. Today, everyone has either played before or is a D-list celebrity or aspiring model/actor and the episodes highlight the drama and cut out the "reality". Hearing Russell's story to Denise about punching someone as a kid was almost awkward for today's Survivor, but would have fit in nicely in season 1. As much as I love strategy, this was a welcome escape.

Tandang is full of strategy. Pete has surpassed my expectations and become the troublemaker of the tribe. He's got Abi-Maria, Artis and possibly Lisa under his wing and has successfully framed RC as a liar. RC is too dumb to suspect foul play and fails to adapt to the changing dynamics of the tribe. Abi-Maria is not your friend or ally, RC. The sooner you get that through your brain and figure out where the true power lies the better chance you have at avoiding elimination.

Kalabal has some strategic rumblings as well, mostly on the part of Jeff and Penner. The Hidden Immunity Idol-bearing Veteran and the wounded baseball legend have teamed up along with the most invisible player in recent memory, Carter, to form a boys club. Dana, Dawson and Katie are rightly suspicious and formed their own posse. It'll be interesting to see what happens if Denise or Malcolm is absorbed into this tribe and if the gender battle continues.

So which tribe is better positioned now? It'll be hard to pick a better twosome than Malcolm/Denise for challenges, but it makes more sense that there will be a dissolve. Honestly, whichever tribe acquires Malcolm will probably be the one to succeed. With tribes even again, there's nowhere to hide your weak players, so the manpower will prevail in the increasingly physical challenges of recent seasons. Shame, because I, like Russell, am willing to write over a check to Denise in the off chance she makes the finale.

Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: The Editors, for including the slo-mo shot and the nostalgic scenes
Original Airdate: 10/10/2012

TV Review: Survivor 25x03: The Four-Finger Plan

ML- Big props to Malcolm this week, who was able to put the good of the tribe as a whole (and himself in the long run) ahead of his sexual desires and boot out Angie. It was no surprise to the audience watching that Angie was going, especially after her opening confessional where she boasted "each and every one of my tribe mates trusts me and I trust them". Yeah, okay. If I ever went on Survivor, I'd be in a Jamie Newton-level constant state of paranoia, never telling the camera I was confident about anything so they could never use it against me in the edit.

Pete emerged as a threat tonight as he formed a tentative alliance between himself, Abi-Maria, Artis and Lisa, alienating RC and his eventual threat, Skupin. Abi-Maria is in the best place of everyone on that tribe, having positioned herself into 2 alliances and holding the Hidden Immunity Idol she found about thanks to RC's clue. Unfortunately for her, she's in a Natalie Bolton-level constant state of batshit craziness. I don't see her or Peter, who now reminds me of Gregg Carey in Palau, taking this all the way to the end.

On Kalabal, Penner was still on the outs. I have to praise him for managing to say the phrase My Ass!, though, while mentioning how his aforementioned body part was hurting from the shelter. When Jeff and Dana noticed the bull emblem was gone, they alerted the tribe that he probably had a hidden immunity idol. Jeff was respectful, not angry, noting how Penner as a returning player was playing smarter than everyone else.

When Penner later approached Jeff, it was a good move for the veteran to try and gain favor, but unfortunately his new "alliance" didn't feel the same way. A four-fingered shake, as it seems, is not a real binding handshake because men need to use all 5 fingers to shake for real. The logistics behind this baffle me and I can only come to the conclusion that Jeff is an idiot.

Matsing continued their bad-luck streak by losing their boat, as well as the Immunity challenge and accompanying rewards. Momentum is probably the most important factor in Survivor, as it affects morale and contestants' mindsets in unbelievable ways. Matsing is in deep trouble, even without Angie to keep the average IQ down.

It's hard to pick a favorite to win in the game right now. Statistically, it doesn't make sense to put money on any of the Matsing members. Kalabal just isn't getting the screentime or story lines they need to signify a late-game surge. Tandang gets a lot of strategy, so the best winner bet probably comes from here. Is it Pete? Skupin? RC? Abi? Lisa? Definitely not Artis.

My money is still on Denise, despite the odds. She kept Malcolm in line, dominated the challenge and keeps me interested in her as a player despite her negative attractiveness. She needs to stop mentioning her practice and the money she makes back home, however, or else people will never give her the vote based on lack of need.

Episode Grade: C+
Episode MVP: Abi-Maria and Pete
Original Airdate: 10/03/2012

TV Review: Survivor 25x02: Booty Blinded By Booby Traps

ML-

Roxxxxxxxanne
You don't have to call out the showmance
Subtly sew distrust,
It'll be more effective than freaking out at Tribal Council and alienating everyone by speaking in tongues

Okay, I may have botched that song a little bit, but I haven't had a lot of water today... so...

Matsing (aka Tribe 1 for either arbitrary or spoilery reasons), fell apart even further this week as a showmance splintered trust and nobody stepped up to lead in the challenge. Worst of all, the tribe doesn't even have cookies.

The tragic thing is, Roxy was completely right about Malcolm and Angie. A pair, especially an athletic relationship, is either the most dangerous or the most vulnerable position in the game. In a tribe of 5, everyone needed to unite against Malcolm/Angie, which was never going to happen thanks to my winner pick, Sex Therapist Denise. I assume she saw Malcolm and Angie as potential clients and the subjects of her next book, Love in the Wild: How to Survive Being Backstabbed By Sea Snakes and Get Crabs Out Of Your Buff. She also astutely pointed out that, despite Malcolm being her main ally, being the odd-person out in a threesome is what the sex therapists refer to as the worst. But the timing wasn't right to betray her only ally, so Roxy had to go.

Roxy's pre-challenge behavior was elimination-worthy on its own. After a terrible rainstorm, Roxy began speaking in tongues and praising the lord like Jameka from Big Brother 8. Nothing against her religion, but speaking in tongues can be a red flag that someone's head may not be 100% in the game of Survivor. Take Dr. Denise, for example. She says that anything that gets her to the end of the game will be of her own doing, not God's or anyone elses.

Over on Tandang, Lisa further distanced herself from her tribemates by sitting alone at the well and crying, which has made the majority alliance go from 4 to 5 with Artis now included. If Tandang loses, Lisa is in trouble, unless she can pull some type of Holly Hoffman maneuver and turn her sorrows into strength. Meanwhile, Abi-Maria and RC Became the most dysfunctional alliance since Russell & Parvati. All RC wanted was to trust Abi-Maria with her idol clue, but Abi-Maria was so threatened by RC's bond with Skupin that she threatened to kill her if ever betrayed. Healthy stuff right there. Abi-Maria is a little too crazy for this game, but makes good TV and I'd love to see her blindsided!

At Kalabal, Jonathan used his brain and figured out the clue meant the idol was under the nose of the bull pendant wedged in their welcome basket. Now he's got an idol, which he'll probably have to use at his first tribal considering we haven't seen any other strategizing by him yet. He better keep those glasses on, because he'll need another hidden immunity idol after this one gets used.

Tribal Council was entertaining with all the bitchy back-and-forth between Roxanne and Angie, whose cookie comment wasn't as dumb as Probst made it out to be. Malcolm's "little sister" comment about Angie was, however, pretty dumb, unless it's comparable to Kat and her cousin from last season.

In the end, two dangerous pairs remained in the game with Malcolm smack dab in the middle of both. I had high hopes for Roxy but she quickly fell into paranoid craziness way too soon. If there's any indication that God isn't invested in Survivor, her ousting from the Matsing tribe is all the proof I need.

Episode Grade: B
Episode MVP: Denise
Original Airdate: 09/26/2012

TV Review: Survivor Philippines 25x01: Go With the Game

(R to L: Malcolm, Angie, Russell, Roxanne, Zane, Denise, Mike, RC, Artis Lisa, Peter, Abi-Maria, Jeff, Katie, Penner, Dawson, Carter, Dana)

ML- You take the good
You take the bad
You take them all
And what do you have?
Survivor: Philippines!

The granddaddy of all reality is back, chocked full of good and bad in the 90-minute premiere that I wasn't excited for until I heard Jeff's prologue at the beginning of the episode. This was a summer of Big Brother submersion, and Survivor just wasn't on my radar, but I was pleasantly surprised with the premiere, specifically the cast. For this first week, let's look at the castaways, and see what past contestants they remind me of to get an idea of how they may fare:

TANDANG: (Yellow Tribe)
Mike Skupin: Mike is basically Mike Skupin 2.0 with a hint of Boo Bernis from Survivor Fiji- the guy who kept getting hurt over and over. He has definitely aged (is his speaking voice odd for anyone else? His mouth moves in a weird way), but I remember being such a huge fan of him while he was on Australia, so that "star" factor is still in play. His new "Go With the Game" mantra will probably be the title of his next book.

Abi-Maria: The Brazillian flirt is very Sugar from Heroes v. Villains with her sexuality and personality. Peter seemed interested, but to the audience it came off as very desperate. She's going to have to show some better understanding of the game to translate that sexuality into a Brenda or even Parvati ranking.

Artis: Pretty nonexistent but physically strong black guy. Ibrehem from Palau? Definitely not as ripped, though. We'll have to see more from him to get a better sense of his character.

RC: She's the Parvati of the group. Sexy (a few of my guy friends messaged me to tell me they wanted her to be their winner pick, based on her "strategies", I assume), but also a firm grasp on the game and a good rapport with the camera. I see her going far with the alliance she was quick to form.

Lisa: The celebrity factor of Ashley Massaro with the personality of Tracy from Fans v. Favorites. Isolating herself will not be good, but with Skupin having her back she may be able to outlast Artis.

Peter: Young, athletic and already noticing the hot girl, he reminds me of Alex from Amazon or Keith from South Pacific. He's in the alliance, good for him, but we didn't get any insight from him, so I doubt he'll be taking the money home.

TANDANG FORECAST: Strategically they're well off for now, physically they stand to be unstoppable if they do cut Lisa at their first TC. I'm thinking the winner could come from this tribe, but my actual winner pick isn't wearing yellow.

KALABAL (Red Tribe)

Jonathan Penner: Same old Penner we know and love. I like how humbled he is by getting to play the game again. Great TV and definitely a class act, he's one in a million and I'd love to see him take this game. Unfortunately, he's going to need that Immunity Idol he's so desperately looking for if he wants to survive in his tribe.

Dana: Petite and spunky, definite Courtney Yates from China/HvV vibes from her. She doesn't want to see Penner or any third timer for that matter take the crown.

Dawson: Her last name, not her first name, which puts her in the leagues of Cochran and Penner automatically! Kidding of course, but her ability to spot Jeff Kent makes her the Danni of the season, just as she spotted Gary Hogeboom in Guatemala. It'll take a lot of expert maneuvering to match Danni, though.

Carter: Didn't make a peep but was young and buff, basically the Samoa Brett of the episode.

Katie: Already forgot who she was. She doesn't like Penner's shadiness, so an unmemorable person from a Penner season is the infamous Mary of Micronesia.

Jeff Kent: The Gary Hogeboom/Jimmy Johnson/Brendan Synnott of the season. Hiding something big from the rest of the castaways is always a thorn in your side, and soon people will figure out he's not a motorcycle salesman like he claims. With his messed-up knee, too, I don't see him making endgame.

KALABAL FORECAST: The only thing they're unified on is taking out Jonathan. Jeff and Dana are a pair to watch, but once Dawson opens her mouth, who knows what will happen. I don't think the winner will come from here, either.

MATSING (Blue Tribe)

Russell Swan: Obviously, same old Russell. Wasn't the best leader of Galu, not the best leader of Matsing. His "reign" will definitely be short lived. Bossing people around will get old, and Malcolm proved he has the survival skills to provide for the tribe.

Angie: Former Miss Kentucky, former track star, definite threat with her alliance with Malcolm. She's like a personable Amanda, aside from the fact she's bad at puzzles, and I can see her making some big moves if given the opportunity. She wanted to switch things up already by day 3!

Zane: Poor, poor Zane. He was like Brandon Hantz with his creepiness and Chicken with his ability to self-destruct himself out of the game without even trying. His bold move was a stupid one, as was his making alliances with everyone. Production probably saw him as the next Hantz, but he holds the rare honor of actually being dumber than a Hantz. His 5-1 elimination was his own damn fault, despite Russell's best efforts to dig his own grave.

Roxanne: Really, really liked her. Obvious Francesca vibes as being an un-"crazy" black woman on this show, but her military background and physical prowess should hopefully send her further into the game like Alicia.

Malcolm: Ozzy but with strategy. Ladies are going to love him, guys are going to love him. Fan favorite material already I think. Could he win? Absolutely, he's got a keen eye. But he's not my pick. That honor goes to...

Denise: The sex therapist did a great job of summing everyone up with ease. She aligned with Malcolm, another strong player. To me, she is an older Sophie, eloquent and intelligent with a good grasp on the game and human interaction. She may not be the most obvious or conventional pick, and she didn't necessarily get the best edit, but I think she's absolutely the one to watch going forward, for me at least.

MATSING FORECAST: They need to cut Russell loose, stat. Getting rid of Zane was okay because he really did screw up his part of the challenge, but Russell is toxic in camp as well. The other four need to bond together as a cohesive unit to stand a chance against the other tribes, especially once the inevitable "dissolve" twist comes into effect.

Overall, I like the premiere because we got to get to know more people than the 5 that have been beaten over our heads in every CBS preview. The cast seems like a good crop for the most part, and the returning players don't have humongous egos like Ozzy, Coach, Rob or Russell Hantz.

Winenr Pick: Denise
Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Malcolm
Original Airdate: 09/19/2012