TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week Nine"

DA- Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it is Glee star Matthew Morrison in the audience! What was Mr. Schuester doing in the studio audience for a reality show on CBS? I try to piece it all together in another crazy week of Big Brother!

We begin this week right off where we did last week. After the houseguests and jurors are done being pelted by baseballs, we have a new HOH and a returning juror! But before I announce who won what, let’s look at some strange moments from an odd HOH challenge. First, what was the point of the dancing mascots that ran across and then quickly left? Secondly, I’m glad Jessie got to show Amanda she is not scared of her. As soon as she was eliminated and as she runs out with her back to her she yells how she hates her. Yeah that will show her! Finally, Elissa’s recoveries would not have worked on Survivor. She was hanging off of the ball holder, sitting on the platform, and probably doing downward dog on Nick’s hat that GinaMarie has on her 24/7. Despite all these close calls Elissa wins the HOH key and the world gets to see J-U-double D re-enter the Big Brother house with his famous bear shirt.

Despite a clear power couple controlling the game it looks like Elissa’s biggest target is Aaryn. While she is a beast in challenges it seems like this is more of a personal move than a game move. For me it is clear when she tells her during the nomination ceremony that Aaryn has made her life terrible so now she will know how she felt.

This week it looks like Judd is ready to make amends and give everyone a clean slate including Elissa, who he thinks was working with Helen to get him out. But Judd does not want to stay clean for long. A day later he is ready to get his hands dirty with a backdoor. Not to mention a few days after that he teams up with GinaMarie, Andy, and Spencer (leaving Elissa on the outs) but we will get to that.

Sorry Judd but the person I was most excited to see return to the Big Brother house this week was not Mr. Party Daugherty it was the Zingbot! This year we got some good ones after Elissa first tries a terrible zing herself to the insulting robot. Hey Elissa, let’s leave the zings to the professionals shall we? To sum up McCrae always wear shorts because Amanda wears the pants in the relationship and Andy is like a ghost because of how much of a floater he is (which actually scares Andy into possibly shaking up his game now). GinaMarie meanwhile is on the table slapping it like she has never heard of comedy before. Man, she is going to die once she sees an episode of Two and a Half Men! Her zing involves comparing her “relationship” with Nick to Fatal Attraction. But don’t worry, GinaMarie assures us she would never harm Nick unless he was married. He isn’t married but I am not sure he is staying completely free this summer.

Before the veto competition Elissa realizes how she wants to get Amanda out this week because she is a bigger threat. As long as she doesn’t choose Amanda’s name from the- yep she chooses Amanda’s name to compete in the veto competition. But she never wins a competition so we should be good, right?

For this week’s veto it is Baby Zingbot’s first birthday so they have to roll a ball back and forth to reach 250 power units. If the ball falls they start back at zero. 250 power units? Whatever happened to kids wanting candy and slinkys? Why does the veto involve getting power units for a robot’s birthday? Probably the same reason why a beaver is crying over love letters?

As luck would have it Amanda wins! Elissa for some reason tries to joke around saying they threw it, which sparks a forest fire inside the Big Brother house. Amanda calls her “bitchy” and says how Rachel would be so proud that she wasted her HOH. She then proceeds to call her “trash” at the veto ceremony and how next week she will be out of the HOH room and back with the “scum” downstairs. It looks like we know who is going to win fan favorite don’t we? Amanda, if GinaMarie even thinks you are a “crazy bitch” settle down!

But unfortunately Amanda is not reading this and keeps going. She starts picking on her face and becomes angry that she (excuse her language) looks like “the bully when this bitch ass, Joker faced, motherf-cker walks around like she's Queen Sheba.” Please reread that sentence to understand the irony spewing out of it with every word. While Amanda has said some terrible things Elissa is not a perfect angel. Even though we have not see it on the show some live feed watchers have claimed that Elissa fired back and called her out for having an abortion and not a miscarriage (as she claims) to be on Big Brother this season. Either way congrats Big Brother Casting! You have found the most vial and disgusting houseguests ever in reality television.

Because CBS does not want to show any more hurtful events in the house, we are treated to two packages this week where Dan Gheesling plugs his web show tells us his thoughts on the game and how three Big Brother showmances are doing in the real world. However, the big event of the live eviction night made Twitter buzz for days!

As it turns out Twitter was going nuts over the dirty bedroom and after ten weeks of not getting a question (as Spencer points out) he explains the complex situation. Glad that is settled. Who was tweeting in these stupid complaints? Their moms?

No, the real important event of the episode was how Julie was going to handle the eviction of Aaryn and if she would bring up the comments she made earlier in the game. The question is soon answered and Julie reads back some of her comments to the booing and laughs of the Jerry Springer Big Brother audience. Meanwhile Aaryn is struggling to find a response. While I completely agree that what Aaryn said was tasteless, rude, and disgusting, I had a few problems with this segment. For one, many people claimed Aaryn was obviously lying that she could not remember saying these things. Well if these remarks just naturally come out of her, I believe her. How is she going to remember three or four sentences over 70 days? Can you remember something rude you said over two months ago? Next, how much do you want to bet she will be the only one this season to be on trial for her actions? Meanwhile the stuff GinaMarie, Spencer, Amanda, and even Elissa have said will be brushed away because it has been nearly absent on the show. So they get to walk off for the most part Scott-free (with the majority of the American audience) but Aaryn will always be remembered as a racist super villain? Finally, Aaryn now knows something is up. She has no idea how much trouble she may be in and what is going on in the outside world. Now for the next three weeks she is in limbo thinking about what she may or may not have said and what her future outside of the game really is. Now that is a have-not punishment!

In and Out Points:

- How come we did not get to hear Big Brother expert Matthew Morrison’s opinion on the season and the Aaryn controversy? He must be a super fan to attend a taping of this summer reality show!

- Aaryn accidentally drinks nail polisher remover and that is the not most shocking part of that event. Supposedly Helen was in the scene but erased from it completely. While not an important game move this goes to show the power of editing and how unless you subscribe to the live feeds you really don’t know what is going on.

- GinaMarie, Andy, Spencer, and Judd form an alliance and instantly start coming up with names. I feel as though people just like alliances now for the naming aspect. Every day they break and reform alliances just for the fun brainstorming of naming it!

- This week America the East Coast people on the East Coast who do not have Time Warner cable voted for the punishment of the HOH losers. Will they have to wear a bunny outfit or a chicken outfit for 48 hours? Is there an option for who cares? Big Brother either lets America choose the dumbest details or lets them completely change the game by voting people back in the house or choosing someone who can nominate someone themselves. No middle ground!

How do you think Julie handled the interview with Aaryn? Can you believe what the houseguests have said to one another? But first, did you vote for the bunny outfit punishment or the chicken outfit punishment? Let me know in the comments or @eastwoodmcfly.

TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week Eight"

DA- Don’t start crying my fellow Big Brother beavers! I got your love letters about this drama filled week of Big Brother. Before I explore the logic of a beaver in the Big Brother house crying over lost love letters, we have a lot to cover first.

As we learned at last Thursday’s episode Aaryn won yet another HOH after McCrae, as the gentleman that he is, finally throws it for Amanda to win. GinaMarie tells Spencer that Amanda is ruining not only McCrae’s game but his life too. McCrae while she may be right don’t worry about taking love advice from GinaMarie of all people. You remember what happened with Nick right? This is the same girl who later tells Julie that she was prepared for the blind Have-Not competition because she looks around for Nick’s hat around the house at 3 AM 4 AM for some reason.

Aaryn has her heart set on nominating Spencer and Elissa but Amanda tells Andy right in front of Aaryn that she actually going to nominate Helen and Elissa. Umm… you didn’t win HOH Amanda so stop bossing everyone around and put Aaryn’s HOH basket items back. You got second and according to everyone ever that means you are not the winner!

But Amanda may not even have to pressure Aaryn to put up Elissa and Helen because Elissa may want to go home early. She tells Helen that she does not want to miss her kid’s first day of third grade and spend another day without her yoga mat in the Big Brother house. If she is evicted she is going pass the jury house, not collect $200 and go right home. This causes Helen to break down because if she is not there she loses a vote in the final two. Woah, woah, woah. We are getting a little ahead of ourselves aren’t we Helen? As Helen sobs all over the house about this it does paint Elissa in a bad light. However it does the exact same for Helen. McCrae points out she already assumes she is going straight to the end already, which he finds absurd. Spencer however just says Elissa is having a bad day but others don’t see it that way. “Rachel would be mad” about Elissa’s behavior and now she is an “embarrassment for her household.” The best line? GinaMarie telling Spencer it is not a bad day because she didn’t die or get hit by a bus! Very true GinaMarie! You are right about that!

After the houseguests are trapped in the dark where Amanda gets a giant blow (of air) to the face in a cheap simple Have-Not competition Helen and Elissa are put up on the block by Amanda Aaryn. But Helen isn’t too worried because she has Andy and McCrae to help back her up. Umm… Helen this is a completely fake alliance. You are not a member of 3 AM or any other time-themed alliance in the house.

Now for the classic “Otev” veto-competition. Now excuse me as I try to talk and figure this one out. For some reason Otev is a giant beaver that is crying because he supposedly wrote a bunch of love letters for the houseguests. Why a beaver? What does that have to do with Big Brother? Can a beaver write letters? Why did the beaver write extras for each forcing each contestant to find the same exact one? Is he sending multiple copies out of each one? Why am I trying to find logic in a Big Brother competition? Elissa ends up winning the completely well-reasoned challenge and proves she “is here to stay.” Well a few days ago you were ready to go home over a missing yoga mat so…

Amanda spills the beans to Elissa that it is Helen going home this week and that there is nothing she can do to stop it and if she does it is her leaving instead. Elissa tries to secretly come clean to Helen by giving hints, as she literally cleans the bathroom, about Amanda’s plan. However Amanda may have counted her McChickens (see what I did there) before they hatched.

Aaryn comes clean about the wine incident in week one and they all joke around about this event so far in the past. As Amanda says what she did, Aaryn is put off by how “rude and bitchy” she was. A fight ensues which leads Aaryn to see how she has been playing Amanda’s game getting Howard out and trying to evict Helen this week. She is ready to plan her own game.

However all this was for nothing as Spencer is put on the block replacing Elissa as she takes herself off.  Aaryn says she is doing this because she is being forced into a corner. While she may not playing her own game by doing this she is keeping her hands pretty clean. She has won four HOHs and a veto already yet she is hardly a target from week to week!

Before Helen packs up her bags to leave, she has a few more moves to try. She tries pressuring Andy to vote for her to stay and if he doesn’t and “sides” with McCranda instead then Elissa, GinaMarie, and Aaryn all have him as a target next week. While Helen is working her magic inside the Big Brother house, at the jury house Candice, Judd, and Jessie are getting ready to possibly reenter the house themselves. For the record I am angry that Big Brother did not sequester them individually and not allow them to conspire with each other like this. In the end though there is no use crying like a giant Big Brother beaver about it.

As Andy sits there speechless that Helen (the person he just backstabbed) could re-enter the house, the doorbell rings and they all emerge to compete in one giant HOH challenge. Playing alongside the houseguests the jury members are also competing for their right to re-enter the Big Brother house. Houseguests have to stand on a ledge catching ten balls as they are sprayed with hoses. While I question how these balls are equally reaching the houseguests at the same height, who may be throwing them, and at what various speeds they are reaching the players I’ll have to wait until next week to find out these big questions. As for the questions that actually matter like who will take the HOH crown and which juror will re-enter the house only time will tell!

In and Out Points:

While there has been some terrible opening lines this season the editors have used some great footage at the end during the credits. Between the absurd idea of David playing chess, GinaMarie crumping and Spencer playing chess alone they are finding some great b-roll!

This whole three nominations and MVP twist was supposed to eliminate floaters this season but it looks like it only made more. Maybe the houseguests are too scared to make big moves against someone America loves or make big moves in the house to stand out among the players and become one of three nominees. Either way it looks like it was not that well thought out!

Helen says to Andy that America is watching so he needs to align with the good people and get out the bad. Who is she to assume she is a member of the good? While she is right, the other people on her side are certainly not great but then again nobody is!

Jessie tells Candice and Judd she went out guns blazing. Jessie, from what we saw it was more like a water pistol.

And the winner for the worst time to mute during a live broadcast? When Julie explains the HOH competition and says “there is ______ in the sprinkler system.” Much like where did Clownie run off to, the world may never know.

Who do you think will win the HOH competition and who will re-enter the house? Are you hoping Helen can make a quick turn around and rejoin the game? But first, what item are you searching around your house for at 4 AM in the dark? Let me know in the comments or @eastwoodmcfly!

TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week Seven"

DA- Boy do we have a lot to cover. Even though there has been a lack of shake-ups or power shifts this season, there is still a lot of drama inside the Big Brother house. Much like the season and the lack of explosions we have seen this drama is often drama for just the sake of it. What do I mean? Read on…

We have to go all the way back to when Candice was voted out last week to see how GinaMarie was somehow even more rude then we thought she was. While I thought it could not get any worse than saying to someone who was adopted “at least my mom likes me” GinaMarie tops herself by saying Candice’s mom “doesn’t even want her.” Candice on the other hand does not get off Scott-free. She does take a crack at GinaMarie’s color contacts, how she still lives with her parents, and her eating disorder. While Candice leaves, the house is stuck with GinaMarie and Aaryn is worried that GinaMarie’s actions will hurt her game and make her look bad. Oh, honey!

On a much sadder note it was painful to see Judd pleading for his safety during the deleted scenes from last week’s double eviction episode. What’s even sadder? He left because people thought he was the stupid MVP. It is just another stupid twist ruining the game for somebody else. I would link to an example but where do I begin? Eric Stein being forced to do America’s actions as America’s player and thus not being able to play his own game? Big Brother 13’s Pandora’s box which reinstated the duos twist for just the week that the HoH was targeting production favorites’ Rachel and Jordan? The list goes on and on.

But we have to move on and it is time to see some action. Andy is ready. He would love to “win so people know [he] is here to play.” Hey week seven is a perfect time as any to start. Andy is true to his word and wins a HOH competition where the goal is to land a cherry ball into a very small container at the end of a moveable banana board. While everyone loves that Andy has won because he is friends with everybody (which was perfectly shown by an edited package of diary room confessions) this could be disastrous for future weeks. Now Andy has to actually choose a side instead of playing both of them unless he takes the easy way out and just puts up someone like Jessie up. This is Andy after all so I won’t be surprised if he does just that.

 The big drama however is between McCranda, Amancrea, or whatever everyone is calling McCrae and Amanda. During the competition Amanda has a diary room confession saying how she hopes McCrae lets her win or they are banana-splitting up. That’s funny. Too bad you can’t laugh at your joke when he actually doesn’t let you win. She cries and complains that Jeff threw it for Jordan and Brendon threw it for Rachel! McCrae however did not want people to think he was being controlled. Shut up Amanda! Not only does whining make you look terrible but if McCrae wants to win HOH and get all the blood on his hands (leaving you without getting anyone mad) let him! But Amanda hopes this outburst doesn’t “draw attention” to her. Did Big Brother just cast at an elementary school this year? In the end Amanda can dry her tears because it is Spencer and Jessie on the block this week.

For some reason everyone wants Jessie out instead of a real threat like the two power couples (Helen/Elissa and McCrae/Amanda). Every week the “big threat” is someone like Candice, Judd, or Jessie. Am I missing something here? How about Aaryn who keeps winning challenges? But hey what do I know!

Speaking of Aaryn she made a positive game move this week by attaching herself to Andy, Amanda, and McCrae in the new alliance “3 A.M.” which is way better and easier to say than the long original idea of “Three A’s and the McCrae.” To stop Helen from possibly putting Amanda and McCrae up at the same time they come up with a great idea to make a fake alliance with her. This threesome of Andy, McCrae, and Helen is easily sold and not because of Andy’s poker face (or lack there of).

Helen unfortunately buys it but to make sure the sale doesn’t get returned they all decide to throw the veto competition so Helen wins. Even though she could easily change the nominations and put Amanda up they are hoping this bargaining chip establishes trust for the group. But how can you throw a competition you don’t even know is coming? Well somehow every contestant figures out the exact type of challenge before it happens. Since it is a counting challenge they all decide to fold so it would only be between Jessie and Helen. However after counting nearly 468 bats in the first round and other random objects Jessie is throwing it too! Helen has racked up two tickets and only needs one more.

Spencer is worried though. He is on the block after all, so for some reason he starts trying in round three and actually eliminates Helen in the process. In the end it is between Andy, Spencer, and Elissa. Well actually Elissa is not even in contention after she folds in the last round, which makes no sense. You only fold if you are not sure of the guess so you can go to the next round and try again. But if it is the last round and everyone is tied you try and guess anyways because you have a 1 in 3 shot to win! Andy wins and even though Spencer gives a convincing argument during the veto ceremony (Andy “you haven’t done anything intelligent all week so why start now?”) both nominees stay on the block.

Jessie is paranoid that she is just being told she is not the real target and she is right. In a last ditch effort she tries to tell how Helen did consider trying to backstab Amanda and asked Jessie to get on board. Helen doesn’t remember saying this but thankfully the editors of Big Brother do and have the clip to prove it! Unfortunately this move does not work for Jessie and she overhears the group discussing how she is going home. Jessie is done with everyone now and that includes Andy so don’t bother trying to comfort her now buddy! He asks what she heard and Jessie (smartly) replies you tell me what you think I heard (just in case there is more to the story she didn’t hear to begin with).

But before Jessie goes home she starts up some of the most confusing drama this season of Big Brother has seen! She tells GinaMarie that Aaryn talks about her all the time. Later GinaMarie tells Aaryn just but since there are no specifics this is not considered rude to her. Aaryn says just by saying that to begin with is completely rude! Thus begins a fight over if saying that someone talks behind someone’s back is rude or not. Keep in mind this is not a fight over what was actually said! GinaMarie wakes everyone up to settle this argument that does not involve anyone else by yelling to everyone that Aaryn is “yelling” at her. Talk about irony!

Despite this new conflict it is still Jessie that goes home in ANOTHER unanimous vote. As soon she exits the door we are treated to an HOH competition where contestants have to buzz in with the answer of what type of competition it was after hearing a poorly made song with lyrics about the event. After some anxious houseguests hitting their button over and over they realize that Big Brother went to all this trouble making the songs and by golly we are going to hear them in their entirety.

After McCrae clearly throws it to Amanda this week, Aaryn wins her third HOH in a row? What’s that Aaryn? I pulled a Julie and did not get my facts right? Your fourth HOH?! Wow and including your veto win that means you have won five competitions this season! How come nobody else sees you as a threat yet Jessie who only won a veto by default and Candice who never won a challenge had to go home sooner?

Next week Julie teases that production is going to intervene and allow a juror to reenter the house by a competition. While this will allow floaters like Judd, Candice, and Jessie to re-enter, I think the person to watch for will be whoever gets evicted this week because if it is a power player like Amanda and Helen, the sparks are going to fly!

In and Out Points:

- Editors, can you please go back to choosing interesting quotes to start the episode with? This used to be my favorite part and now we are treated to a sobbing Andy hugging McCrae, McCrae jumping on to a table, or Andy being attacked by a bird. Give me a good old-fashioned zing!

- While normally Julie likes to update the houseguests on celebrity births, this week Julie asks a hard-hitting question from a complete nobody on Twitter. How come there haven’t been any big moves this season? Oh burn! How much do you want to bet it was one of the producers tweeting this in trying to get the houseguests to actually play the game?

- Why does everyone celebrate after seeing someone they are targeting be eliminated from the veto competition? I understand you are happy but you are trying to trick Jessie that she is safe and is a pawn. Stop smiling and celebrating when she is eliminated! If I was her I would glance at the audience during the competition to see people’s real reactions so I knew my accurate fate.

- There is a mini-controversy over Amanda and Aaryn’s use of adderall in the house. While it is supposedly used for their ADHD many see this mini-version of speed an advantage in the challenges. Even though Amanda has not won a competition this season, Aaryn is dominating the field. But who are the two people most upset about this? Amanda and Aaryn. Both think the other is faking and doesn’t need it like they themselves actually do. Ahh, this is the drama we expect don’t we?

Who do you want to see re-enter the house? Who do you think Aaryn will nominate for eviction? But first, are you like Spencer and feel like a candy bar at a fat camp with everyone around licking their lips? Let me know in the comments below or @eastwoodmcfly!

TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week Six"

DA- OMG BBVX this weeks been crazy!!! We both have like two weeks of BB in one. that’s like double the game in what normally would have like one week’s time. you know what I mean?!

Okay, I can’t do this anymore. I was going to write this entire post in the style of GinaMarie’s amazing work of literature but not even Nick would read past those few sentences. However, GinaMarie is right. We do have a lot to cover so without further ado…

When we last left our “friends” they were on top of a giant log working for the coveted HOH. After some weird bargaining between McCrae and GinaMarie that included three nights in the HOH bed (we know why you want that McCrae), both choosing a nominee or even choosing both, GinaMarie and her will to receive hair dye helped her prevail to victory! But the other houseguests did not go home empty handed. Helen gets to throw a BBQ for three friends, which surprisingly includes Aaryn, Candice receives $5000, and Spencer must speak through a bullhorn at all times. This way we can hear his inappropriate jokes much more easily.

After Jessie’s hissy fit over not being able to go to the BBQ and Andy spilling the beans and ruining yet another plan, we get a great fight between Amanda and Jessie. It all started after Jessie told Andy in confidence about wanting to get Amanda out instead of Howard last week. McCrae defends Andy and says he did not tell anyone but obviously he did if they are having this discussion. But Amanda does not care because she sees Jessie as just an attention seeker. Ultimately Jessie is the one to point out Amanda is the one walking around in her underwear!

Much like her HOH blog, GinaMarie’s nomination ceremony is a series of words with no real connection or reason why they are being emitted from her brain. This makes many of the houseguests laugh. In the end we can figure out that she nominated Jessie and Candice, at least I think that is what she said.

Amanda is put up again as America’s MVP vote and she does not believe America could ever be MVP because she is making it her mission to get the mean people out. Ironically Spencer says maybe she is doing things people do not like in which makes Amanda retort, “what am I doing people don’t like?” To make things even worse for Amanda after she asks McCrae to come and sit with her and he says no, she runs away to be alone under the covers in bed. Why did she ask him to move? Because Jessie came in and sat next to him. How is it that a 23-year-old pizza boy is more mature than a 28-year-old real estate agent?

But before she enters a downward spiral and starts worshipping McCrae’s bandana à la GinaMarie with Nick’s hat, it is time to the veto competition. This week we are throwing frogs in a pond for a challenge that looks like it was filmed in Judd’s backyard. Jessie winning the veto in this classic Yankee swap challenge is not even the big takeaway of the event. Candice, who tries whispering to Judd that they think he is the MVP, begins to be attacked by Amanda who tells her to shut her mouth. The tension escalates and includes Amanda calling her “Shaniqua” and asking “am I racist now?” Candice tries ignoring it but as soon as she says a word over Amanda’s taunts Amanda asks why she is still talking to her? Is it possible to send Amanda back to high school?

Even though Judd wins the competition he opts for the $5000 instead of the veto, which Jessie ultimately wins. Meanwhile GinaMarie gets a cone of shame, Spencer wins a trip to the Bahamas, and Amanda has to get a spray tan every few hours (much to the probable displeasure of GinaMarie who would see this punishment as a great reward).

After Jessie takes herself off the block Spencer is put on but nobody seems worried. Each houseguest thinks the other two are bigger threats. But come Thursday night it is clear it is Candice who has the biggest target on her “clownitard” back. Despite one last-ditch effort by Jessie that involves getting rid of Amanda, which includes Judd finally getting his kiss from her, unfortunately it is Candice’s turn to return home.

But before Candice is voted out in a unanimous vote, a verbal fight breaks out between GinaMarie and Candice, which continues as she walks out the door. Candice as she leaves tells GinaMarie to go back home to live with her mom. GinaMarie’s comeback? “At least my mom likes me unlike yours.” As fellow reader Dan B. pointed out this is a stab at Candice for being adopted. How is it nearly 90% of the house this season is filled with some of the meanest people found in this country? This is a game show for crying out loud!

While normally this would be it for this week due to the double eviction we were treated to an entire week in one night. Immediately after Candice’s eviction the houseguests are put to the test about their knowledge of events in the house. Thankfully unlike the conveyor belt challenge of week two, production showed us pictures to at least allow some viewers to play at home. After Julie’s antsy comments about the houseguests flip-flopping their answers, Aaryn wins the HOH title for the third time this season.

Aaryn, who only had a few moments and a commercial break to make up her mind, ends up choosing Spencer and Jessie. Before we can process why the veto competition is off and running. In this competition houseguests have to put certain shaped nails in holes around a veto diagram. Out of nowhere Aaryn takes yet another competition. Surprisingly she takes Jessie off and puts Judd up.

No! Not Judd. Sure he is not the smartest player or even a good player but at least he is somebody people can like. This season every single week I am left with less and less people that I can actually stand to watch. Please don’t get backdoored!

Aaryn tells the house she has no choice with this decision and all but two wanted this. If she didn’t do this she would be going home. While this seems like a cop out this may be a smart move. At the end of the day she is not getting any blood on her hands. However, in the end she may not be able to take credit for these big moves if she is just a puppet with other people’s hands up her…well you know.

As they all vote many start crying and saying how they do not want to vote Judd out. Hmm, here is an idea. If you don’t want him to leave…don’t vote him out! While we are not seeing it this week (we will probably see more footage during next Sunday’s broadcast) Amanda probably wanted Judd to go thinking he was the MVP putting her up. Turns out America just ruined the game for another houseguest due to another stupid twist.

Speaking of twists, Julie announces the MVP twist is over (hallelujah!) but that the jury may still be involved in the rest of the game. First off, I did not like Julie telling the houseguests before both votes that the jury is going to be starting early (it may change some last minute votes or decisions). On Survivor host Jeff Probst surprises the houseguests by announcing the jury starting as he reads the last deciding vote. Secondly, what could this jury influence be? At first I thought maybe the latest person voted out chooses the third nominee. Now I believe a houseguest is coming back in to the house. Even though this season is already long and much larger than normal seasons, there are clues that the jury may be staying sequestered to come back. First, Julie is not able to update the evicted houseguests on the game or any twists. Also podcasters and reporters like Rob Cesternino are not even allowed to ask any even written questions to anybody voted out after this point. What power will the jury have? As usual we need to expect the unexpected…

In and Out Points:

- GinaMarie kisses Nick’s photo on the wall after her HOH win. She also prominently displays his blue hat during the live eviction and cherishes her new picture of both of them she received when she won HOH. Nick, I would be very worried the second your friend exits this house. Know any good lawyers/security guards/witness protection programs?

- Judd unfortunately goes home without any of his stuff from the house. What’s the bright side? He is at least wearing his prized grizzly bear shirt, which every single houseguest has worn this season. Can you imagine if that was left inside the house with these crazy girls? Jessie may even join GinaMarie with her shrine!

After two crazy weeks in one I am off to a relaxing BBQ (if I am invited to one that is)! Are you said to see either Candice or Judd to go home? Did you see Judd’s backdoor coming? But first, what would you rather have? The cone of shame, a fifty shades of orange spray tan, or the clownitard? I know it is tempting but you can only get one. Let me know in the comments or @eastwoodmcfly!

TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week Five"

DA- Before you choke on your own saliva or have your chest pop out and die, don’t worry! Your weekly Big Brother recaps are back! Finally, after weeks trapped inside of the Big Brother have-not room eating slop and having to press a button every nine minutes, I have escaped to make sure you know everything that has been going on.

To rewind what we missed Helen and Judd win HOH and end up getting Jeremy and Kaitlin out of the house during their respective weeks. GinaMarie kept crying over Nick, McCrae is delivering “more pizzas” to Amanda, Andy is completely invisible, and the houseguests are still racist. Yada, yada, yada.

However, the biggest shocker of the last few weeks was when America became the MVP. Somehow after three weeks of Elissa winning fan favorite she became the person America wanted on the block! While it is hard to exactly nail down how or why, here is my theory. The majority of America’s vote was for Aaryn. However, since she was nominated the votes went to the next highest houseguest. An educated guess would mean someone in Aaryn’s group like Kaitlin and GinaMarie but since Kaitlin was already on the block the vote must go to the third highest vote. Now this is where it gets interesting. While some believe this small vote could be Elissa haters it very well could be Elissa supporters who were confused by how that week’s MVP twist was going to work. Perhaps when it was announced on the east coast and voting opened, Elissa fans jumped to the polls like they do every week to vote. We are people of habit and sometimes habits can lead to disastrous results after too much of a good thing. Wow! Talk about getting deep.

But now since that is covered let’s jump to week five! In true Big Brother fashion the person that needed to win HOH wins all the power (with a perfect score mind you). However, it will not be a free ride for Aaryn. The only reason she got off of the block was a promise to Helen that if she won she would let her choose the nominees. I bet Aaryn did not bet that would happen! But before we can see if she will keep her word we are treated to some network product placement a have-not competition based on the memory powers of Detective Carrie Wells on CBS’ Unforgettable (airing Sunday nights at 9 only on CBS!)

At first when I heard the siren to cue this challenge I thought we were going to get some Zingbot 3000 action but since we did not I am going to skip the challenge and do some zingers of my own. Andy is excited to see Poppy Montgomery introduce the challenge on the screen because he knows her “because she is on TV and is a ginger.” That’s it? Not very Unforgettable! ZING! Judd using the cliché “Female Body Inspector” FBI line during the competition? Yeah, sure Judd. Tell me about Jessie’s body then…oh wait! ZING!

After Howard and Spencer are put on the block, Howard decides to call a house meeting. While I was hoping for a “Dan’s funeral” I instead got someone burying his own grave. By talking in circles and looking directly at the people he is talking to (like a normal person should do) he scares most of the house that he is coming after them. Meanwhile Howard has no idea since he tells the diary room that the message has been delivered and received! Howard, you may want to check to see if they receive the right package then.

After Amanda is chosen as this week’s MVP by America (probably because Aaryn is HOH and Amanda has not been so innocent herself) McCrae is pissed. He is sure Howard is the MVP, so much so in fact, he is willing to put his life on it and bet a “bajillon kajillon” dollars. Yikes McCrae I am not even sure how many pizzas you need to deliver to get that much back!

For this week’s veto competition it was as though the producers chose this one for me. Helen dressed nearly like Doc Brown and proclaims that they all must travel back to the future to the past to find the first veto after it was destroyed in the present day. Even though the houseguests claimed the backyard transformed around them as they traveled it was clear that they were inside and then the actual competition was outside. After Spencer wins all the houseguests travel back to congratulate him (even though it would make a lot more sense if the players traveled to rejoin the rest of the houseguests in the present day but this is Big Brother so logic is thrown out of the window). Since Spencer won and took himself off it should come to no surprise that Aaryn nominates Candice as a replacement nom. No really! Those are her words, not mine. She actually said “this won’t be a surprise.” Come on Aaryn, really?

Spencer then tries to make sure Howard stays by targeting Amanda but when confronted by Amanda in the backyard Spencer says he is actually going after Candice. Both engage in some profane words that will not be posted here but Spencer does use a word that rhymes with "Schmidt." What really angers Amanda? Being told to do something that rhymes with “but dup.” Oh no, he didn’t!

Helen who is jogging as this is going on decides to start some trouble and tell Candice that Spencer is really after her. Candice, of course he is going to tell that to Amanda when his target is Amanda! However, we are treated to another house meeting where Candice calls out Spencer and asks if he ever said he hopes Amanda’s “boob pops out and dies” and that she “chokes on her own saliva.”  In the end this works against Candice. Not only does she prove Spencer does not like Amanda but she also scares GinaMarie, Aaryn, and Jessie to think about getting her out now instead.

Before we could vote we have to update the houseguests about the births of Tilly Godwin, North West, and George Louis Alexander in a stupid pop culture quiz. Now it is time to vote…but first let us watch a package of Judd’s hometown watching Big Brother. While I did find this a little absurd it is nice to see so many passionate Big Brother fans out there. To see Judd on TV for them is “the biggest thing since electricity.” But my question was why him? I guess they will not want to do any of the nominees since it may show favoritism or who may go home. They also already did a package on Amanda and McCrae last week. They definitely do not want to celebrate Aaryn, Spencer, and GinaMarie for their comments so that leaves people like Jessie, Andy, Helen, and Elisa. Yeah. I guess Judd was the best choice.

In the end it is Howard who is sent home after a 7-1-0 vote (Spencer voted to evict Candice out). Again a third nominee with zero votes. Can we all agree that this is not working? With three nominees and a MVP twist to get rid of floaters it seems like the entire house is now just full of them is season. Floaters 1. Big Brother 0.

In and Out Points:

- It looks like when they time traveled back from the veto competition they are stuck back in February of 2013. Why you may ask? Because the houseguests are spending their time making Harlem Shake videos.

- For some odd reason we are treated to a package of Andy walking out to the hammock only to be startled by a bird. Talk about a slow news week.

- Congrats to Amanda and McCrae for being “Big Brother engaged” or whatever that is. Let me know when you get “Big Brother divorced” and have to start paying “Big Brother alimony.”

- I noticed this week that Aaryn’s lower third reads “College Student.” Does anybody know if it said anything else before she lost her job due to her remarks?

- Speaking of Aaryn, here are some quotes that because of her history could easily be taken in the wrong direction.

“I know what it is like to be in the minority…of the house!” 

“Candice is the cause of every terrible thing I have been through.” 

Really Aaryn? If you think that now wait until you get out of the house.

Are you sad to see Howard go home? Should Candice or Amanda have gone in his place? Who will win the HOH endurance competition? But first, who is going to watch CBS’ Unforgettable Sunday nights at 9 only on CBS? (Can we get our money now?) Let me know in the comments or @eastwoodmcfly.

TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week Two"

DA- Another week and another crazy seven days of Big Brother. Since we have to so much to cover and I am worried other bloggers may fill your container of BBQ sauce up before I do, let’s get to it.

When we last left our fairly racist group of houseguests they were starting an HOH competition where they had to fill up a container of BBQ sauce with a very small cup from one side of the backyard to the other. Houseguests working in teams of two were so excited to start; Judd even forgot to grab any BBQ sauce to transfer.

Now there is a catch. Houseguests can fill up another container with sauce to unlock a larger cup. At first this container looked huge while the cup did not look much bigger. However after Nick and Judd unlocked their cup and made it a tight race against Aaryn and Jeremy, I learned the old saying is true. Size really doesn’t matter. It is all about the motion of dumping your sauce- ew, wait, never mind.

In true Big Brother fashion the person who needed the win the most wins and Jeremy passes HOH duties to Aaryn (so he can still compete next week). Along with the HOH title Aaryn also gets to choose the have-nots for the week. Now Aaryn let me remind you. You just got booed by the live audience (and also lost your job for your racist remarks in the house) so let’s choose people who- wait Andy, Helen, Candice, and Elissa?!?! Those are the people you have been saying offensive things too! Are you kidding me?! Once inside the house the have-nots see they get to eat lima beans and liver (based on America’s vote) along with slop. Aaryn is disgusted by this and admits in the diary room she would not wish that on her worst enemy. Umm, have we forgotten what you just did a few minutes ago?

Aaryn, still bitter about her David “he’s not my boyfriend” Girton’s departure, and the Moving Company only wanting guys in the house, Aaryn puts up Helen and Elissa on the block. Jeremy quick question, if you and the Moving Company want only guys in the house who are you going to hook up with all summer? Because if you can’t do that then what else are you going to do? Play a social game for a half of million dollars? HA!

Elissa unsurprisingly wins MVP again and tells Nick to throw the veto competition so Helen and her have a chance to win. However, she then says if Jeremy does win he is going up unless he throws it. But that is very subjective to tell. So Nick don’t win the protection from the block and you will be put on the block, so throw it? This ladies and gentleman is the persuasive speech by your MVP!

Of course Jeremy wins the veto. This guy is unstoppable. Not only can he balance stuffed animals on a baby mobile but he can also rip a onesie when he wins a silly necklace. Woah! Now I know why the ladies love him. Before Jeremy uses his veto he warns the Moving Company that if his hook-up partner Kaitlin is put up and leaves he is out of the Moving Company (despite him saying earlier that they want an all guy house). This displeases the entire MC since there is no dictatorship in this company. It is an equal opportunity employer. Nick is put up on the block in his place but Nick is “the CEO” of the MC so he is not worried about leaving this week. Wait. Is there something I’m missing here? These houseguests and their contradictions!

Thursday’s live eviction foreshadows Nick’s demise quite early. Not only does he say he is in a good spot but Julie tells us that just when you thought you had everything figured out to think again. Easy for you to say Julie. When we only see about 90 minutes of content from the entire week there is a chance I may be missing something.

By the end of the episode it is Nick who is sent home and he thinks it was because of Spencer’s doing. Julie admits to him that it was. Julie, now Spencer did vote for Nick but I am going to count this win to Elissa and Helen who actually orchestrated his demise, not Spencer who just threw one of many votes towards Nick.

Before the night is over we crown Helen as the next HOH (after two crazy last minute tie breakers). Now unless something changes drastically it looks like it will be either Jeremy, Aaryn, GinaMarie, or Kaitlin who goes home, especially if somehow the “best player” in the house continues to be Elissa.

Now one of the most interesting things about this week is that Big Brother finally showcased at least some of the racist remarks the houseguests have been saying. While we saw Howard bring up some of the offensive comments and a montage of what Aaryn and GinaMarie have said, there were a few houseguests noticeably absent. Where was Spencer? Is Big Brother just trying to keep painting Aaryn and that side of the house as the villains while Spencer gets off Scott Free (for the people watching only CBS' broadcasts)? They take one step forward but two steps back with this if you ask me. 

Then at the live episode Julie slyly asks Aaryn if she forgets that there are cameras in the house. Instead of taking the hint Aaryn says no and that she is just a true person. America is seeing who she really is. However she may want to recant this once she leaves the house. Next we cut to a package of other contestants bringing it up to her in the house. Aaryn finds these accusations obnoxious and annoying. Not only is she is not going to acknowledge it but she finds it as the most immature thing ever! Oh (big) brother…

In and Out Points:

- Jessie wants a boy because every other girl has one! As she follows Nick around the house complaining how she wants a boy too in the diary room, I could only think of this.

- HOH is really becoming worthless. Both weeks now it has been the MVP’s nominee to go home. So you get one week of immunity, piss off a few houseguests by putting them on the block, and then next week you can’t compete for HOH? Remember when this used to be the most powerful position in the house? Now America has a huge hand of how this game is played (very similar to how this entire trial season went).

- Julie needs to watch it with her questions to the houseguests. As for slyly mentioning that Jessie wants a showmance, Aaryn forgetting there are cameras in the house, and Jeremy not seeming worried when he was put on the block, she needs to watch what she says. Not to mention Julie mentions everything to the evicted houseguests including who voted for who. Now there better not be any houseguests coming back this season because if not this is completely unfair.

- This last HOH competition is the worst for viewers at home. We have no idea what the houseguests saw and memorized in the middle of the night. Sure they showed us a quick montage of clips but in these wide shots we cannot see any of the details that are being asked. True or false. Did the slop get delivered during the delivery of a teddy bear that was wearing a blue shirt? Umm…

- Very similar to Aaryn last week crying over David, GinaMarie balls for hours after Nick goes home. Calm down ladies! They are not being killed off like another summer reality show on ABC. You will see them again!

That is it for this week of Big Brother. But first, which one of the four “popular” kids is going home or do you think Helen has something else up her sleeve? Let me know in the comments below or @eastwoodmcfly. In a side note, I will be moving across the country this next week and moving into a new apartment. In other words I am not sure when I will have Internet and/or time to catch up with what I miss in the house. However, I will try to share my thoughts with a recap or at the very least on Twitter so make sure you are following @dualredundancy and I on for all the latest! 

TV Review: Big Brother 15: "Week One"

DA- While it has only been one week in the Big Brother house there has been enough drama to fill an entire season (or the very least a giant jar of BBQ sauce). Before I discuss the controversy that has already come out of the house, I am going to try and recap the entire week faster than the houseguests can drink an entire bottle of red wine…let’s go!

Nick started off Sunday’s broadcast with a great idea. Let’s form an alliance that includes Jeremy, Howard, Spencer, McCrae, and himself. Too bad it was already formed without him a few days before but in the end he still got to join and help name it The Moving Company. Why TMC? Because they well umm…move contestants out the door?

After a camping have-not competition that had houseguests stack cans on a balancing board after they retrieved them from a larger cooler, McCrae put Candice and Jessie on the block. McCrae picked these two because he believes they are the least liked in the house. However, I think I agree with Amanda that his real reason was because Jessie has a “better ass than” she does. That would be my thought process if I had to nominate people in a game for a half of million dollars!

Tuesday night’s episode was all about the MVP twist and who it would be. Elissa jokingly tells the house she will get a lot of votes because of her sister who is Rachel Riley a supermodel named, according to Jeremy, “Jazelle ButtChin.” In the end “ButtChin” pulled through for Elissa and she was awarded the MVP fan vote and nominated Jeff Spicoli Harry Dunne David much to Aaryn’s dismay. (It’s been a week. I’m sorry your “boyfriend” who lives at home with only a seasonal job and no ambition is going to leave you forever for possibly three months. Stop crying!)

But before David is sent packing he gets another chance to make a fool of himself in the veto challenge. This week some emotionless judge from CBS’ The American Baking Competition hosts as houseguests run through honey and pop blueberry balloons to retrieve letters to spell a word. Whoever has the longest word (or “longest letter” according to David) after time runs out wins. While Howard and Jessie had seven-letter words it looked like Elissa with “potroasts” was going to win. Unfortunately “potroasts” is two words and McCrae with an eight-letter word wins. However, David did not leave the competition empty handed. He did receive the honor of being the only contestant in Big Brother history to not spell a single word in this type of challenge! Go David Go! McCrae uses the veto to take Candice off and put Elissa on the block in order to please the house (and probably displease America in the process).

Now going into eviction night Julie promised to show the houseguests and their “true colors.” While I thought for a second they might address the recent controversy, which I will get to soon, I was sorely let down and instead got to see more hookups and houseguests flirting. Thankfully we did get a little drama and it is all thanks to some alcohol.

Big Brother gave the house one bottle of red wine and the houseguests agreed to wait until midnight so the have-nots can celebrate with them…well most of the houseguests. An hour before midnight Aaryn and David couldn’t wait a second longer so Jeremy grabbed it and the group of them drank it before anyone else could get a sip. While Jeremy falls on the sword later and said he drank the entire bottle (when it looked like the house was angry at Aaryn for doing just that) I want to fault Big Brother instead. One bottle? For the entire house? Even though a limited supply brought the drama, next time you should supply an unlimited amount to really get the “unexpected” going!

In the end David is sent home with seven votes (Elissa received five and Jessie received none). Will I be sad to see David go? Not a chance. I want my houseguests to play the game and not sign up for Big Brother to just hook up (which was his goal over the money). It was clear David was recruited because not only did he not know any past contestants like Rachel Riley but also he didn’t even know what was going on in the house. For example during his goodbye interview he asks Julie will he ever find out who the MVP was. First off, everyone in the house knew it was Elissa…EVERYONE! Secondly, yes you will find out. In case you did not know David, you are on a TV show. TV shows are things on television, which you can watch in your own home. Now a home is…never mind.

Now to get to the part I am sure you actually want to discuss (but Big Brother definitely does not want to even bring it up) the offensive comments! While I will not repeat any of these comments on this blog, if you are truly interested you can easily find them online with a simple Google search. For those who do not know many of the houseguests including GinaMarie, Spencer, and Aaryn have used derogative terms and offensive comments describing other members of the house. While I understand Big Brother is a “family show” and airs on one of the main networks (which is still overly cautious after this famous incident) I wish they could show these contestants for who they really are. There will be plenty of people out there possibly rooting for their success unaware that these pretty houseguests are pretty ugly on the inside. 

Thankfully word has spread around on the Internet and many houseguests are getting their dues. Both GinaMarie and Aaryn have been fired by their respective jobs and I am sure they will have a hard time getting a job after this “vacation” in the house. During Wednesday’s live eviction while it is unclear if they were just booing for votes against Elissa or cheering for votes cast for David, it is possible people have gotten word about Aaryn’s comments and want to see her (and her “boyfriend” David) fail. These boos and cheers were so loud that supposedly contestants could hear them in the house and producers could be seen trying to quiet the audience during the broadcast. Ironically they only “booed” during Aaryn’s vote before they were told to be quiet so she may think America hates only her and she needs to change what she is saying and doing. Only time will tell if Big Brother will address this matter on the show (besides a standard public statement) and if any of the houseguests will improve their behavior.

In and Out Points:

- Spencer is already handing out nicknames for The Moving Company including one for himself: “The Conductor.” Uh-oh! This isn’t Survivor you know. Don’t let Phillip Sheppard know you are copying his whole shtick. 

- While we saw a little hook-up between McCrae and Amanda I heard it got a little more PG-13 on the live feeds. I’ll just repost Amanda’s comment that she said in bed with McCrae: “It’s like SeaWorld down there.”

- Ultimately The Moving Company picked David because he was a challenge threat while they could use Elissa (and her possible MVP status each week) to control who goes up and possibly goes home. If America stands behind her and Elissa works with TMC this could be a great plan.

- I feel as though while three nominees makes it more “interesting” I think it will end up like Survivor’s final three. In the end it will always be between two people and the third will be a non-entity, for instance this week with Jessie.

- Finally, we ended tonight with the classic fill a container of liquid using only a small cup HOH challenge. However this time we had teams of two competing instead of individuals. Depending on who finally wins it we could have some interesting dynamics when they have to choose who will be crowned the real HOH.

Was David the right choice to send home? Who will win the HOH challenge? What do you think of the recent controversy? But first, what is the longest word you can spell? Let me know in the comments or @eastwoodmcfly.